Steps : London Astoria G-A-Y

Steps give a lacklustre performance at G-A-Y...

“More than just a bunch of line dancers” is how pop supremo Pete Waterman describes Steps in his autobiography. Pete is responsible for Steps‘ success. He also, according to the book, discovered The Beatles, invented the 12″ single, and single-handedly saved the diesel train for posterity. Thanks Pete. So, how much “more” are Steps? Do we really know anything about them?

By this stage in her career, previous PWL superstar Kylie was having large amounts of dirty sex and making damn sure we all knew about it. It’s difficult to imagine Steps making ‘the beast with two backs’, especially as one of them is dating a member of Boom! and another refuses to confirm his fondness for Dorothy.

But, during tonight’s show, signs of a possible rebellion are evident. H is using his middle finger in the ‘One For Sorrow’ dance routine. He describes the audience’s attempts at loud cheering as “Shit”. And he keeps grabbing Lisa’s breasts. Ian’s transformation into a camp Welsh Eminem is not the only act of dissent. They are clearly wearing everyday clothes; no sparkles or colour co-ordination.

And, despite G-A-Y being their second (or first?) home and the group receiving rapturous adulation from a capacity crowd, some of the performances are positively lacklustre. Claire is plodding about the stage as if this is a rehearsal and Faye seems unable to execute even the simplest of synchronized hand movements (and when all you’re doing is miming to dance remixes of your songs this is quite important!) In contrast, Lisa is looking every bit the solo superstar she is destined to be.

Tonight’s lackadaisical run through the singles might suggest to the cynical that they’d all, bar Lisa, rather be anywhere else than here (strange since ‘here’ is where they belong.) But the songs are still great, everyone is happy, so who’s complaining? Well, the Reverend Ian Paisley recently announced that “Line dancing is as sinful as any other type of dancing. It aids and abets fleshly lusts which war against the soul.” More to it than meets the eye then. [I]”5,6,7,8…!”[/I]

Timothy Mark