Pink : London Scala

These days Pink is a Britney-bashing teen-pop hellraiser - and she's out to give Eminema run for his money...

[a]Pink[/a]’s T-shirt apparently says it all. “DON’T BITE ME you fuckin’

bitch,” it screams, “or I’ll kick your fat ass into next week!”

That history as an r’n’b popstress is well and truly buried. These days, [a]Pink[/a] is a [a]Britney Spears[/a]-bashing teen-pop

hellraiser – and she’s out to give [a]Eminem[/a] a run for his money.

At least, that’s the idea. But to be honest the current snotty disposition

of Punk [a]Pink[/a], as captured on this year’s fun-time ‘Missundaztood’ LP

is no radical departure from her early days as Pop! [a]Pink[/a] – the feisty

white gal holding her own in a black r’n’b world. The main problem, however, has always been the same – her music has never quite measured up to her own self-image.

Tonight, she’s performing in front of an audience made up entirely of devout Pinkettes backed by a band who look like they were put together with a Family Fortunes appearance in mind. Musically too, they’re all over the place. Part of the reason for that is that [a]Pink[/a] tries to cover too many bases. From cheeseball glam to high octane soft-rock, no mindless musical genre is too lowbrow to pillage.

While the new material – co-written with former 4 Non Blondes

singer Linda Perry – kind of rocks, it doesn’t rock hard enough, and it’s the older hits – ‘There You Go’, ‘Get The Party Started’, ‘You Make Me Sick’ – that work best, beaten out trashily without ever quite losing touch with their pop sensibilities. It’s a shame, then, that they’re eclipsed by trite versions of ‘Just Like A Pill’ and new single ‘Don’t Let Me Get Me’.

Like we say, the problem with [a]Pink[/a] has always been the same. Exactly who are you? You’re not, as you keep telling us, no [a]Britney Spears[/a] – yet you’re too lightweight to rock hard.

You’re charming, but too trailer-park to charm like [a]No Doubt[/a].

You’re sexual, but next to Peaches, you barely break into a sweat. It’s time for the real [a]Pink[/a] to stand up.

Imran Ahmed