Take a leaf out of The Datsuns' Big Book Of Stadium Rock Heroics and play things as fast and full-on as possible...
So you’ve learnt your three chords – what’s next? Are you going to churn them out joylessly every night? Or are you gonna take a leaf out of The Datsuns‘ Big Book Of Stadium Rock Heroics and play things as fast and full-on as possible?
There’s nothing remotely clever about the songs that The Datsuns play tonight. But Dolf and the boys know exactly how to thrust their hips, stomp their feet and swing their arms in a sterling example of how to play a live show: taking the same turgid ’70s rock cliches that even your postman is peddling these days – from AC/DC to T-Rex – and then transforming them into something so sex-crazed and feral it practically humps your leg.
Red-shirted Dolf De Datsun yelps like a madman through the turbo-powered ‘Sittin’ Pretty’ and the glam stomp of ‘Harmonic Generator’ but then you’d yelp too if you wore trousers that tight. Elsewhere the squiggly guitar solos of ‘Super Gyration’ threaten to escape out of the venue, run down the street and terrorise innocent West Londoners, whereas ‘MF From Hell’ remains great simply because, well, how could a song called ‘MF From Hell’ not be great? And all the while Dolf’s working the crowd into a sweat, dousing them with water whilst they go absolutely gonzo-crazed mental. Even new songs like ‘Cherry Lane’ manage to get the crowd clapping along within the first two riffs.
Sure, it looks like they’ve practised this countless times in front of the mirror, but then so have every other band out there. And so, almost certainly, have you. It’s just that The Datsuns liked what they saw. And anyway, if this really was such a polished, pre-packaged show then they’d never fuck up and deliver such a flat version of ‘In Love’, would they?
Whatever, tonight’s gig is a lesson in how to make some fairly hoary old rock nonsense sound utterly and totally essential. You’ve learnt your three chords. Now play them like this.