London Camden Monarch

Are you ready for love? A bit of bump'n'grind, some slow and tasteful loving? ...

Are you ready for love? A bit of bump’n’grind, some slow and tasteful loving? You are? Good, because Da Bachelor‘s back, his abs thoroughly oiled, and there’s only one thing on his mind, and rest assured it ain’t the ironing.

So the heartbreakin’ Romeo of R&B returns to reclaim his rightful territory from the legions of production-line boy bands who dared to challenge his, uh, manhood. Yet given the obsequious and cloyingly considerate nature of this genre, he hasn’t got much work to do. Perhaps it’s just [a]Ginuwine[/a], but he seems so polite and sincere, so very respectful of the ladies, that it’s a wonder they don’t slap him and demand he asserts himself.

Produced almost entirely by [a]Timbaland[/a] ([I]quelle bleedin’ surprise[/I]), ‘100%’ finds [a]Ginuwine[/a] ruing over lost loves and outlining his plans – a nice restaurant and a classy show, essentially – to win back those elusive females. Over impossibly slow, spindly beats we are informed of how he and a special friend broke a sofa with their vigorous love-making (‘Do You Remember’), and that just maybe, he whinges on ‘No 1 Fan’, out there in the audience, his true love is waiting.

He never does manage to get it on, but he certainly talks a good talk. And that, generally, is half the battle won.