October 2, 1999
Snake River Conspiracy : Vulcan
...it beats the living shit out every single other record released this week and then dances naked around a bonfire of their burning corpses daubed in satanic runes and gibbering like a traumatised gi
"FUCKKKKKKKKKK!" That's how this stomping, swirling, clanging, roaring, superbly overproduced and frankly mental masterpiece of slickly ultra-discordant disco studio-punka starts and, just in case you've not quite grasped the track's subject matter, the lady singer screams "FUCKKKKKKKKKK!" again and again and again very loudly and at regular intervals. Brilliant!
"FUCKKKKKKKKKK!" there she goes again. Imagine, if you will, Ginger from Garbage in a kick-boxing grudge match to the death with mock-cockernee Shouty Woman out of Republica. With Atari Teenage Riot's Alec Empire as referee.
"FUCKKKKKKKKKK!" Shit, yes! This is what Indie Spice would sound like in a perfect world. Hell, this is what Bernard Butler would sound like if he wasn't just another scruffy, gurly-haired, po-faced, lemon-sucking muso bore with an overblown reputation and an artistically crippling Beatles fixation.
"FUCKKKKKKKKKK!" Thank you, God! You bastard! You make this poor boy sit through hour after hour of sub-listenable pseudo-'60s wank and cod-cerebral musoid anti-pop and E-fucked post-Ibiza nonger bollocks and then - just as he reaches the very pit of the trough of despond and starts to think that every single fucking single released this week is going to stink like a long-term homeless person's trainers marinated for a millennium in diseased dog shit - you slap him in the face with a slab of pop so shiny, so gratuitously aggressive and so 1999 and three-fucking-quarters that he involuntarily ejaculates all over the computer screen with joy.
"FUCKKKKKKKKKK!" It's Y2K Tourette's Pop and it beats the living shit out every single other record released this week and then dances naked around a bonfire of their burning corpses daubed in satanic runes and gibbering like a traumatised gibbon.
Like the woman says - "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKK!"
Steven Wells
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