Album Review: Spank Rock - 'Everything Is Boring And Everyone Is A Fucking Liar'

Generally lacking any semblance of swing or groove

Spank Rock
  • Release Date 27 Sep, 2011
  • Producer Boys Noize
  • Record Label Bad Blood
  • Fact Spank Rock is one of the faces of Alexander Wang's 2011 T collection
4 / 10
Spank Rock’s 2006 debut ‘YoYoYoYoYo’ was a frisky little number, crackling with whip-smart booty bass beats, gurning Game Boy riffs and dumb but dextrous rhymes about partying and pussy. It even managed to put a smile on the face of renowned rock grump Thom Yorke, who named it his album of the year alongside Liars’ ‘Drum’s Not Dead’. But potty-mouthed hipster rappers have a notoriously short shelf life, as Princess Superstar or Fannypack will tell you next time they’re stamping your Starbucks card. Perhaps wary of this, Spank – known to his moms as Naeem Juwan – has agonised over the follow-up to ‘YoYoYoYoYo’ for five years, finally releasing it on his own label and lumbering it with a title that would make even Panic! At The Disco flinch.

Yes, Spank Rock has gone all serious on us. “A man is not a man if he don’t shoot for the stars”, he hectors us tediously on the non-event of an opening track ‘Ta Da’, before later urging us to, “Fight for something/Stand for something” on confused anti-corporate rant ‘Turn It Off’. Yet he hasn’t had the confidence to ditch his old smut completely, with the result that neither his come-ons nor his calls to arms sound very convincing. In this post-Death Grips world, chanting “All you white girls shake it ’til my dick turn racist” just isn’t going to cut it in the shock stakes. Additionally, it’s hard to tell whether the off-key Black Eyed Peas chorus of ‘#1 Hit’ is ironic or not. Either way, it’s awful.

It doesn’t help that Juwan has ditched his old producer XXXChange and replaced him with German electro lummox Boys Noize, whose beats generally lack any semblance of swing or groove. The pair of them belatedly get it together for ‘Cool S#@!’ and the brilliant Can-sampling ‘Energy’, tracks which are unburdened by Spank’s previous hang-ups. But by then it’s too late. Spark is right about one thing at least: this album is boring, and everyone who says otherwise is a fucking liar.

Sam Richards

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