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Tom Odell - 'Long Way Down'
Offensively dull piano pop destined for Brits ubiquity
Just as there was a certain brooding promise to his teaser hit ‘Another Love’ before someone waterboarded it with cod-pagan pomp until it was a trembling, desperate mess prepared to do anything its overlords told it to, ‘Long Way Down’ is a decently bland album by a (probably) decently bland sort of bloke that’s been shafted so hard by The Man it’s submitted to gospel choirs (‘Can’t Pretend’), Coldplay chorus ballast (‘I Know’, ‘Till I Lost’) and Mumford money jigs (‘Grow Old With Me’) – all over-emoting songs about nothing.
During the maudlin quietude of ‘Sense’ or the title track, a tiny inkling of pity emerges in your sickened soul, and you convince yourself the 22-year-old from Chichester is just a poor, misguided wannabe who’s fallen into the hands of the music industry equivalent of Hungarian sex traffickers. Then he comes over all Lionel Richie on ‘Supposed To Be’. I wish I could say there’s a place in Hell reserved for Tom Odell. There’s not. Just loads more Brits. He’ll be all over 2013 like a virulent dose of musical syphilis, pounding and warbling away at every Papal election and Bradley Wiggins finishing line. Be warned, you can’t unhear it.
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