This is the sound of lime segments being poked into bottled lager, of white stilettoes snapping on floor level lighting.

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Gene : Fill her up

Product:

Gene : Fill her up

The Lightning Seeds should sue. [a]Monaco[/a] should sue. Republica should sue. In fact, The Learning Zone should sue Electronic for breaching its copyright on boredom. Never have two grown men with breasts released a song so bland and predictable that it makes the Pet Shop Boys sound like My Bloody Valentine.

How many times can Bernard Sumner and Johnny Marr dig up the decomposing corpse of ‘What Do You Want From Me?’, stick some Supertramp harmonica on it, and call it a new album? Surely this is the point when a nation of chartered

surveyors

finally put the student disco glories of 1984 behind them and start realising what a huge waste of taxpayers’ money the pop royalty really are.

This is the sound of lime segments being poked into bottled lager, of white stilettoes snapping on floor level lighting. And it will

be

advertising a student banking offer on a TV near you soon.

Stevie Chick