He must be saying something really profound! Like fuck. File next to [a]Belle & Sebastian[/a] and bin.

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Whispering Bob : Don't bring me down

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Whispering Bob : Don’t bring me down

Boohoo! Oh, how the crocs weep! They’re sad ‘cos Elliott‘s been getting a right old kicking round these parts recently. Folk say his live shows are sloppy, amateurish affairs which are in danger of undermining his hard-won image as the cutting-edge, avant-garde, genius-poet-boy-wonder-great-white-hope of rock, etc. This is all unfair and inaccurate bollocks.

The fact is that Elliott is shit. Always has been, always will be. What perversely cruel sense of humour inspires the great herdlike mass of rock-hackery to put these piddling, half-arsed, adult-oriented and easy-listening spewing no-knobbers on a


pedestal?
‘Baby Britain’ sounds like the incredibly irritating Friends theme tune slowed down, sludged up and bolstered

with

appalling Leo Sayer-style bonk-bonk-bonk Cockernee comedy piano.

Ah, but you’re missing the point! Listen to the enchanting, breathless delivery! That’s the way real poets talk, you know! So

he

must be saying something really profound! Like fuck. File next to Belle & Sebastian and bin.

Stevie Chick