Atomic Kitten : Eternal Flame

Cover versions? Jumpers for goalposts? Atomic Kitten get embroiled in a tenuous football metaphor...

The recent replacement of top-heavy Kerry Kitten with slim-line Jenny Precious suggested a whole new possibility for pop: transfers, like in football. Should Sean Five‘s glandular fever prove terminal, perhaps ex-E17 striker Terry could fill the position. Backstreet‘s ailing AJ could be substituted for ‘hairy’ Howard Donald. And there must be many a member of Northern Line waiting on the touchline should Blue go a man down (and who would notice the difference?)

AFC Kitten have yet to play their new signing up front with Tash (suspected nodules) and Liz (broken nose) taking centre and midfield on this version of the classic Bangles formation. But, they finished atop the Premiership last season and look like staying there.

They face a tough match against Beyonce’s now solidified Destiny’s line-up but, with support from a home crowd, should go the distance. Over to you, Bob.

Timothy Mark