O’Neal, Alexander : You’re Gonna Miss Me

Oh what a big old twat...

Oh what a big old twat. Alexander O’Neal has, you see, just recorded a new album. It is called ‘The Saga Of A Married Man’ (already a winner!) and it contains two 24-carat belters in which our friend goes all [a]Timbaland[/a] on our ass. So armed with a pair of songs that could easily fool The Youth Of Today into buying the product of a man with 25 singles but only two Top 10 hits (and they were in the 80s) to his name, what does he do? Oh, only release as the first single this inconsequential, dated slop, which will be of interest to precisely nobody.

Like we say, what a big old twat. Incidentally, why did Alexander O’Neal get thrown out of the competition to draw grasshoppers’ faces? Cos all he ever did was cricketts’ eyes.

Peter Robinson