Gates, Gareth : Unchained Melody

Our rating:

So what's this record like? Ah, who gives a fuck?...

Hey, kids! Did you know that this hack ALSO used to be a choirboy at Bradford cathedral? We kid you the fuck not.

The problem with Pop Idol was not that it chose the wrong winner, but that it used the wrong judges. Pete Waterman was OK, but the rest of them just sucked. The bloke who gave us Westlife, some woman no one’s ever heard off and the world’s dullest DJ – Dr ‘fucking’ Fox. He’s a real doctor, you know. Oh yes, he’s got a PhD in “marketing” – WAAAAAAAAAUGH! NME says – band fox hunting! Bring in Dr Fox hunting! So what’s this record like? Ah, who gives a fuck? You’ll find out soon enough, you poor bastards.

Steven Wells