Liberty X : Holding On For You

A collection will now be passed round to have them killed...

Right, you cheating bastards, that’s enough! You read the rules, you signed the forms, you bloody lost, now give the arseless plastic catsuits back to [a]Hear’Say[/a] and clear off out of it! And you, The Kids, for fuck’s sake don’t buy this record! They’re the only hard evidence that these knee-gnawingly tedious talent shows can produce a lasting pop career, so unless they hit the skids by Christmas >’Pop Idol’> will run forever and pop will die choking on its mewling hunchback bastard offspring.

‘Holding On For You’ is slushy sub-Mariah McMusic that seems to set off the studio’s talentless c— alarm in every chorus. A collection will now be passed round to have them killed.

Mark Beaumont