Desert Sessions : Crawl Home

Full frontal sludge-rock porno from platonic golden couple – more’s the pity...

It’s scientifically proven fact that Josh Homme is the tallest, gruffest, ruggedly handsomest [I]man[/I] in rock today, and that [a]PJ Harvey[/a] is still the sultriest, sassiest icily sexiest [I]lady[/I]. And yet, nobody really could have expected [I]this[/I]. It takes a rare kind of sexual frission indeed for two such alpha prototypes to have made a record together where Polly is cast as the wild-eyed she-sex-warrior croaking commands to a dishevelled Homme, while he spends the chorus crawling around her ankles panting and yodelling like the mimsiest bitch in rock.

Which, frankly, fucks the whole ‘boys/girls want to shag him/her and girls/boys want to be her/him’ dynamic at the heart of most good rock duets, because ‘Crawl Home’ makes you change your mind about which of them you’d rather be or shag about seven times within its four minutes. Now this record exists, there’s one less reason for [a]The Kills[/a] to: the first single from the Desert Sessions project (and this, remember, is a record involving [I]Twiggy Fucking Ramirez[/I]), is genuinely [I]that[/I] good. Based around a bass riff that croaks out of a diesel exhaust, it turns out to be the heaviest track of the week while never actually getting that loud, which is clever. And though it’s true that both parties have been involved in better [I]songs[/I] at other points, only a few times in pop history has a duet between a boy and a girl who aren’t actually shagging been so dripping with sweat and psychodrama (in fact, probably only Frank and Nancy Sinatra match ‘em, and we don’t want to be going [I]there[/I]). Anyway, the last time we heard the kind of noises Polly makes as the bass creaks off into the yellow dusty distance, we were having some sex with a lady. ([I]So something of a blast from the past, Dan? – Ed[/I])

Dan Martin