This Week's Singles Reviewed (10/11/12)
Lana Del Rey, Example, Little Mix
Lana Del Rey – ‘Ride’
“I’m tired of feeling like I’m fucking crazy” croaks Lana Del Rey like an oversexed frog being dragged against a washboard. ‘Ride’ sticks to the classic LDR template: slo-mo piano chords, a sense of self-indulgent gloom, lyrics about domestic abuse/being horny. Lana hasn’t made me feel so forlorn about pop stardom since Britney shaved all her hair off. Just smile, babe.
The Milk – ‘(All I Wanted Was) Danger’
The Milk love northern soul, but sadly what they've created is closer to a genre I like to call 'Mofrown'. This is a reminder to be careful what you wish for - although The Milk repeat in Transatlantic vocals that all they wanted was "daynj-ah", what they end up with is the poor man's version of Toploader's 'Dancing In The Moodlight'. And what a poor man.
Roses Gabor - ‘Stars’
Roses Gabor is a name that sounds familiar, and not because of the footwear brand popular with middle-aged John Lewis customers. It could have something to do with her “featuring” on one of SBTRKT’s tracks. Regardless, ‘Stars’ is an electro... hold up, I’ve remembered. I was confusing Roses Gabor with Rosie Gaines. Roses/Rosie, Gabor/Gaines. Close. Some might say closer than close.
DIIV – ‘Sometime’
It’s pronounced ‘Dive’, OK? Not ‘div’ or ‘D2V’. You only need look at their bandname to realise that DIIV don’t really have a way with words. “Your brain is just a part of your head” they ‘sing’ over shoegaze jangles and basslines imported from The Cure’s best of straight onto GuitarBand. “Your birth is just a part of your death”. Well, thank Christ.
Example – ‘Close Enemies’
In Example’s latest video there’s a horrifying clown in a sewer, a speed addict with a chainsaw, a World War One soldier and a gangrenous demon. And what’s Example doing? Smiling. Despite not being able to sing or do a video properly, or rhyme words (“Duran Duran” is paired with “orangutan”), he’s here. Nobody can bloody believe it.
Little Mix – ‘DNA’
Finally, a banger. It’s a banger that sounds a little (exactly) like that Katy Perry song when she compares former beau Russell Brand to an alien and the video looks a little (exactly) like Sin City. ‘DNA’ is from their former X Factor mentor Tulisa’s school of “ballid” – Little Mix have a knack for songs compiled entirely out of choruses because you can never get enough choruses.
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