It’s 16 years since the Avalanches’ era-defining ‘Since I Left You’. How can a follow-up that took so long sound so meh?
This Week's Singles Reviewed (24/11/12)
The Child Of Lov, The Vaccines, Keaton Henson
The Child Of Lov – ‘Heal’
A nice enough tune, albeit one that’s destined to be endlessly described using that most overused of music-journo clichés: “It draws from the past, but somehow manages to sound modern”. Anyway, here is some advice for The Child Of Lov, and others who try to conjure an air of mystery by hiding their identity: it won’t work, and you’d be much better off being gorgeous and charismatic, saying funny and inspiring shit in interviews and wearing a wizard suit.
M83 – ‘Steve McQueen’
The association with Made In Chelsea has not done this chap ANY favours at all. Whereas previously his dreamy-beamy space music might have conjured images of first kisses or whatever, now it just makes you think of Sloanies walking solemnly down the South Bank en route to “a chat”. The title ‘Paradise By Coldplay But Without The Tune’ would have been a better fit than ‘Steve McQueen’.
The Vaccines – ‘I Always Knew’
This is the one off the album you think is going to be a cover of ‘Crocodile Rock’ for a couple of seconds, but it turns into a typically not-bad-at-all, big-chorused affair which is all the better for the inclusion of lines like “Let’s go to bed, before you say something real”. The good thing about The Vaccines is they keep lobbing stuff out, so when you get something that’s just OK – like this – everyone doesn’t go “they’re over”. You know another biggie will be along soon. It’s a good tactic, from which many bands could benefit.
Keaton Henson – ‘Sweetheart What Have You Done To Us’
I’m sure there is a huge audience for this kind of wobbly-voiced, echo-laden, preposterously ‘emotive’, ‘honest’ and ‘you-could-hear-a-pin-drop-in-here’ break-up balladry. But it does not include me. If you were to draw a Venn diagram to illustrate what sort of people dig this stuff, I wouldn’t even be in a circle. I’d be in another galaxy, trying to get as far away from said Venn diagram as possible, lest I get sucked into the ring of mope. Good luck to him, though.
Bullet For My Valentine - 'Temper Temper’
Also: I can’t stomach the weird pseudo-American accent that ALL British heavy rock/metal bands seem to sing in, with Bullet very much not being the exception. It’s just plain odd, by which of course I mean crap and fucking annoying. And all that widdly seventh-generation Eddie Van Halen guitar-playing is contemptible and… God, this isn’t going well, this week, is it? Right, next single out of the bag, I’m going to try and be nice about, don’t care what it is…
Tulisa - 'Sight Of You'
...Ok, scratch that.
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