This Week's Singles Reviewed (26/01/13)
Calvin Harris, Cave Painting, Scrufizzer
Calvin Harris feat Tinie Tempah – ‘Drinking From The Bottle’
Calvin Harris is the pop-star equivalent of Gus Fring, the Breaking Bad character who mass-produces crystal meth in his secret underground lair. Instead of crystal meth, Harris makes Number One singles. Like crystal meth, there’s a precise formula that guarantees the correct result every time, with very specific ingredients. For Harris these are: a massive guest, a squeaky keyboard line that counts as a riff, and a gigantic drop that’ll have the innards of the Warehouse Project bouncing. Works every time. SATISFACTION GUARANTEED.
Frightened Rabbit – ‘Woodpile’
Any song or musician that mentions food is automatically brilliant: ex-chef rapper Action Bronson; the Oasis song ‘Digsy’s Dinner’; that bit in ‘Niggas In Paris’ when Kanye goes “fish fillet” – all brilliant. So although it is to wildly miss the point of this grand and emotional track to focus on the lyric “removed from the red meat market”, it does throw up nice images of the Selkirk quintet being thrown out of a shop by an angry butcher. Which, you see, is brilliant.
Devlin feat Diane Birch – ‘Rewind’
This aims to land a meaningful blow right in the heart of the strange and poppy genre of emo-rap that the UK will, at some point, regret creating. Professor Green, Wretch 32, others – they’re all doing it. American singer Diane Birch is to English rapper Devlin on ‘Rewind’ what Emeli Sandé was to Pro Green on mega-hit ‘Read All About It’. What this song fails to understand is that it’s not really OK to copy a song that’s had over 20million views on YouTube and expect no-one to notice. Eyes on you, Devlin.
Cave Painting – ‘Leaf’
Cave Painting are a five-piece band from Brighton who make mediocre indie-rock that isn’t good and isn’t bad and is, therefore, largely pointless. Like the clothes shop Burton. No-one buys anything from Burton. And if they do, it’s only because all the other shops are closed and they need some pointy shoes for the Cave Painting show later. Next!
Scrufizzer – ‘Rap Rave’
Miss the old Dizzee Rascal, do ya? Preferred him when he rapped so fast you had to listen over and over again to work out what he was saying, did ya? Liked him more when he had ‘something to say’ and didn’t just bang on about being a bit mad the whole time, I suppose? Then 22-year-old west Londoner Romani Lorenzo would like a word, not least ’cos of ‘Rap Rave’, a tune that combines elements of rap and (yup!) rave into three minutes of machine-gun-fast YES.
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