Da Return of da King featuring Spike Durden video

The final installment of the epic Lord of the Rings rap trilogy. Lyrics: They ascended Cirith Ungol, the steps were damn steep They were tired and weary and they'd run outta weed Their lembas was low and Gollum framed sam "go suck frodo's dick bitch, I don't give a damn" Gollum led Frodo to a dark smelly cave And left him all alone sayin bye wit a wave Frodo conquered his fear, and then finally started But the cave smelled like shit as if the gods had all farted But he played it damn coo in shelob's lair He goes "what's up baby girl, I like your hair I like your body, you got some nice tits" But shelob's a feminist she don't like that shit She penetrated Frodo and let venom flow "Bitch whatchu doin dis is my job you ho!" He goes "I actually like it, you got a big sting sack" Then he fell limp to be a meal for an arach Sam killed the spider bitch and pissed on the body "Damn it's a shame" he said "dat spider's a hottie" Then he rescued Frodo from orcs in a towa Hoverboards don't work on water unless you got power! Gandalf rode off to aid the White City Pippin went along cause gondor ho's gots big titties But the lord steward denethors a right fucken cunt So pippin fired up a beacon then lit up a blunt The beacons summoned rohan, Theoden led the call oaths you have taken now fulfill them all Merry went with Eowyn disguised as a man But lego gimli strider had a much better plan The pretty white city was all in siege Denethor fled his men, what a piss poor liege It was lookin damn hopeless til the rohirrim came And fought off orcs and oliphaunts, the witch king was slain Not before a fell beast killed the king of rohan Eowyn took her gat and goes "Bitch I am no man!" The beast took nine shots like Curtis James Jackson She shot the witch king in the face, and goes "take that son!" Then Strider arrived with an army of dead They kick ass on the field but they ain't no good in bed Cause when legolas got horny and tried to fuck one The blond elf's little dick went right fucken through um They marched to their last battle at the black gates of mordor+ They didn't have much men and they knew they was done for They were distracting the eye of that Samoan Sauron When the orcs opened the gates Pippin set off a car bomb The free folk were surrounded, they didn't have enough men But they fought just as hard against the million and ten Gat fire flowin, nobody knowin what the fuck Frodo and Samwise be doin They got AKs and RPGs, they gonna fuck up some orc beezies Cause the free folk are too gangsta and sauron just are wanksta Merry busted out his 9 then, and took out a couple of sand men And Aragorn fought a big troll, who kinda looked like rosie o'donnel Frodo and Sam made it up to Mount Doom But Gollum followed them up in to the gloom And he tried to take the ring, bit it off Frodo's hand And then that skinny little midget fell into lava land The free folk was dying in front of the gate It looked like Sauron had da check mate but wait Fifteen in the quiva and one in the bow Legolas and Strider gonna fuck up orcs hos The eagles are coming bitch! The eagles are comin! Motha fucking nazgul better start runnin bitch The eagles are coming! The Eagles are comin! Motha fucking nazgul better start runnin. The hobbits got rescued by the giant birdies And asked them right away if they riding dirty Thank fuck! Frodo said as they passed him a j I haven't smoked dis shit in about 30 days They flew to Gondor, with the hobbits in talons And flew them to a party with beer in the gallons Saurons dead! The orcs are all gone! Frodo's got nine fingers but a record hobbit schlong Strider became King of all da land Then he laughed and said I am no man! And he showed everyone what he had all along He had a beaver, breasts, and balls but no fucken dong! Tick tock in his drop top bounce to the bottom It takes balls to be king so its lucky that he gots um He bought a big ass nickel times a dime Its about time blaze and listen to da lord of da fine rhyme Tick tock in their drop top driven to the elf ships Frodo left the world of men and hobbit shit now he lives in paradise very nice women full of elf spice pretty easy beezies roll da dice hope they don't got pubic lice that be nice does this rap suffice if you asian eat some rice, got some lembas bread, bitch take a slice Frodo fucks an elf that looks like Rachel weiss, rammed her twice, tits are nice, dick inside a vice Samwise became mayor, the pimp got his ho They got a dozen children and a round hobbit door Merry and Pippin are knights of the land And Gimli and Legolas take walks and hold hands Return da King, it happened at last Aragorn changed his sex the summer past And now we got a good soul to play da king Maybe I should really say return of da queen

Running time: 05:28

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