Glastonbury 2019: 10 absolutely infuriating set clashes

It’s here! Glastonbury Festival have announced the full line-up for this year’s festival, including the highly important set times so you can start planning your weekend.

You can’t see it all, and for your own wellbeing, we implore you not to. But there will be times when you really want to. Flicking through the set-times and planning your route like a military tactician, the next few weeks will involve lots of hellish clashes and devastating decisions.

So to make your life easier, we’ve been through some of the biggest clashes, carefully laying out who you should bump off your list, and who deserves an instant highlight on the clashfinder.

Friday

Amyl and The Sniffers vs Mac DeMarco

When: 15:00 – William’s Green vs 15:15 – Other Stage

Amyl and The Sniffers because: Well, we just named them as the most exciting live band on the planet – and we stand by it. Witness the Melbourne pub-rockers take their gobby live show to one of Worthy Farm’s most serene corners.

Mac DeMarco because: Latest album ‘Here Comes The Cowboy’ trots along at a slower pace than usual, but recent live shows have proved that material can be reworked into more festival-appropriate singalongs.

Winner: Amyl and The Sniffers

Saturday

Fontaines DC vs Slowthai

When: 16:00 – William’s Green vs 16:15 – West Holts

Fontaines DC because:Dogrel’ is a revelation. The Dublin band combine indie, punk, poetry and more with devastating efficiency, while the ensuing live shows are similarly intense affairs.

Slowthai because: He’s the man of the moment. His defiant debut album ‘Nothing Great About Britain’ reflects the ongoing political turmoil, and his only slot at the festival will no doubt display the Northampton lad on scintillating form.

Winner: Slowthai

Liam Gallagher vs Sigrid

When: 19:15 – Pyramid Stage vs 19:00 – Other Stage

Liam Gallagher because: It’s the slot he was born to take. Sure, Oasis headlined back in 2004, but didn’t necessarily go to plan. After a triumphant solo comeback, including opening the Other Stage in 2016, he’s back at his best, with a new album set for this summer.

Sigrid because: The Norwegian will no doubt have aspirations of headlining festivals this size in the future, so trust her to give it all at this incredibly favourable Saturday night slot.

Winner: Liam Gallagher

The Killers vs Chemical Brothers

When: 21:45 – The Pyramid vs 22:15 – Other Stage

The Killers because: Their secret show in the John Peel tent at Glasto 2017 may well have won the festival that year. Now, back on the Pyramid stage after an iffy 2007 headline slot, Flowers and co. will put on a glitzy Saturday night show for the ages.

Chemical Brothers because:No Geography’ absolutely goes. The new album, released in April, sees the band cater to their burgeoning festival audiences, with sample-heavy bangers best-suited listening to beneath the stars.

Winner: The Killers

Wu-Tang Clan vs Hot Chip

When: 22:15 – West Holts vs 23:00 – The Park

Wu-Tang because: The hip-hop titans’ recent UK tour was a triumph, with all members pulling their weight to make it an unforgettable night. You’d imagine a headline slot at Glasto would do the same.

Hot Chip because: Their upcoming album ‘A Bath Full Of Ecstasy’ was basically made for this slot. With euphoric bangers and tear-jerking tales of growing up and not partying quite so hard with your mates, this’ll provide an ample opportunity to rectify that.

Winner: Hot Chip

Sunday

Kylie Minogue vs Bring Me The Horizon

When: 15:45 – Pyramid Stage vs 15:45 – Other Stage

Kylie because: The Australian pop icon was due to headline the festival in 2005, but was forced to withdraw following a cancer diagnosis. Over a decade later, she’s back and nabbed the coveted Legends slot on the Sunday afternoon. We should be so lucky.

Bring Me because: The Sheffield rock band came on leaps and bounds with their genre-bending 2019 album, ‘Amo’, and they know how to put on a headline-worthy show. A mid-afternoon slot will see the band tested, and the results could be spectacular.

Winner: Kylie

Billie Eilish vs Vampire Weekend

When: 18:45 – Other Stage vs 19:30 – Pyramid Stage

Billie Eilish because: Undoubtedly the most exciting new artist on the planet now. After a run of intimate shows earlier this spring, this’ll be a first opportunity to witness the star perform live since her debut album ‘When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?’ was released. It’s going to be the talk of the weekend.

Vampire Weekend because: Their new album ‘Father of The Bride’ was built for the sunset slot on the Pyramid, all soft-rock jams and lovely, lovely Ezra crooning his heart out. This’ll be a healing end to an otherwise feral weekend.

Winner: Billie Eilish

Little Simz vs Dave

When: 19:45 – The Park vs 20:15 – Other Stage

Little Simz because:‘Grey Area’, the London rapper’s latest album is a hip-hop tour-de-force, one that rightfully coronates Simz as one of the nation’s most inventive and playful artists both live and on record.

Dave because: A similar story, here. His debut album ‘Psychodrama’ bagged him a well-deserved Number One slot here in the UK, and his recent UK tour was a complete sell-out. Catch him here before the arena shows beckon…

Winner: Dave

Dave

Dave

Janelle Monáe vs Christine and The Queens

When: 21:45 – West Holts Stage vs 22:00 – Other Stage

Janelle Monáe because: Her UK shows last year was a theatrical, five-star display, proving exactly why the auteur is one of the most engaging and unique performers of her age.

Christine because: She cheered the place up after the Brexit vote results came in just hours before her 2016 set, and now she deserves to revisit The Other Stage with top billing and a headline-worthy show in tow.

Winner: Christine and The Queens

Christine and the Queens performs during All Points East Festival.

The Streets vs The Cure

When: 21:30 – John Peel vs 21:30 – Pyramid

The Streets because: If like us, you won’t want the festival to be over on Sunday night, Mike Skinner is the person to keep your party going. Expect flying pints, nostalgic hits and a big bang to close the festival with.

The Cure because: Having mastered festivals across the globe over the last decade, one of the ‘80s most beloved bands  return 33 years since their last headline appearance. This 2-hour set will no doubt be a Greatest Hits bonanza that few could rival.

Winner: The Cure