Mark Beaumont, Author at NME

‘Guitar Hero’ Is Building A Generation Of Meat-Headed, Knuckle-Dragging Morons

Press your ear to the door of the average 12-year-old boy’s bedroom a couple of years ago and you’d have heard one of two...

Laying A Cable

If you thought all novels by comedians were bad – and they are, without exception, literary arse-gravy all – prepare for a new low...

The Single Life Is Not For Me

I’m sorry,” says the bloke from the royalties collection company, finger poised over the button marked Record Call For Training Purposes: Dealing With Lunatics...

Releasing A Single – The Storm Before The Calm

With a week to go until the release of the only single I’m ever going to put out through my Year Zero Recordings label...

Build ‘Em Up, Knock ‘Em Down – How Bands Can Survive The Backlash

You know that advert where the bloke is constantly followed around by the twisted corpse of the child he ran over, its cold, accusing...

Lock, Woodstock and Barrel – Why Each Generation Gets The Festivals It Deserves

So it looks like Woodstock might well be back for a 40th anniversary event in New York state this summer. Great. And here’s me...

To Queue Or Not To Queue – How Web-Savvy Touts Are Killing Live Music

“U2 tickets on sale 9am, March 20”: seven words that hit me this week like a mescaline flashback. I had visions of Somme-like trenches...

SOS – Save Our Shitholes

So farewell Cardiff's The Point, sucked into administration last week by spiralling soundproofing costs, another rock garrison lost to the punch of The Crunch....

Not So Sweet On The Tweet – Why The Rise Of Twitter Must Be Stopped

The Others are making a new album! Noel Gallagher and Russell Brand are doing a radio show about football together! Calvin Harris is stuck...

Graham Coxon – ‘Escape Song’ track review

"Who will rid me of this troublesome guitarist?" hissed King Norman III one dark and thunderous night, cackling to himself at his evil plans...