People keep finding cucumbers at ’50 Shades Darker’ screenings

Kick back, veg out and enjoy the movie.

50 Shades Darker, the sequel to 50 Shades of Grey, the harmless BDSM drama based on the bestselling book by EL James, has received an absolute lashing from the critics. It currently holds a 9% ‘fresh’ rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The tale of a young woman (Dakota Johnson) drawn into a sexy but destructive relationship with a handsome sociopath (Jamie Dornan), it has been described by Associated Press as “the kind of movie that’s fun only when you’re laughing at its flaccid attempts at drama”.

It seems, though, that not everyone feels this way about the film. The Hayden Orpheum cinema in Sydney has tweeted about the fairly alarming discovery that one of its members of staff made after a screening of 50 Shades Darker. A cucumber, readers. Either someone was planning an elaborate snack, or they’d run out of tomatoes to throw at the screen. Those are the only two options.

Actually, some people have suggested that it was all a less-than-elaborate PR stunt for the cinema. FAKE NEWS! A conversation thread between the cinema another Twitter user suggests otherwise, as the Hayden Orpheum’s social media bod defended their decision to touch the cucumber with bare hands. It’s a queasy read, and no doubt.

A third tweeter, @MalouStitz, then weighed in with a snap from a screening in Norway, at which two cucumbers were found languishing in the aisles, looking all used and betrayed. “Smells like a PR stunt?”, @MalouStitz, commented. Of all the potential aromas at that screening, a PR stunt may have been the most welcome.

Of the chilling discovery at the Hayden Orphreum, Twitter user @iamwilliamfoong ventured: “someone prolly hit the grocery stores to shop for their groceries before watching 50 shades and it popped out of the bag” Let us close our eyes and pretend that sweet, naive @iamwilliamfoong is correct.