The funniest things we overheard at Secret Garden Party

The weirdest, maddest and most offensive stuff we eavesdropped at this year's Secret Garden Party bash.

Secret Garden Party – where the beautiful people of the festival season go to let it all hang out. Vocally as well as physically. There’s something about the hedonistic free-for-all of SGP that makes it virtually impossible for most gardeners to think anything that they don’t then immediately say. Take these SGP blabbermouths for example…


“It’s a silver thong! PUT IT ON! PUT IT ON!” – during Pass The Parcel at the Spiritual Playground

“When I was casting for Hunted I had to interview all these people from MI5. It was terrifying.”


“Who will make the sound? Will you make the sound? He made the sound! Yay! High five! Who will make the sound?” – woman getting strangers to blow her horn

“Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore I am a unicorn.” – sign held up by a pirate in the Let’s Eat Grandma moshpit


Rainbow Pixel Art GIF by Walter Newton - Find & Share on GIPHY


“The floor is lava!” – the pirate’s mate’s sign.

“…and then I’m gonna kill the princess.”

“Ice cream banana pills!”


“I fancy her so much I want to crawl in her belly button.”

“Let the rain come down on your souls!”


“The worst way to die has got to be quicksand. If I was sinking in quicksand I’d commit suicide.”

“There’s a man eating breakfast with a rabbit on his shoulder.” – from Twitter

“Make some noise for black people!” – Rejjie Snow

Rejjie Snow

“Freudian Slip Society, meet here at sex” – sign by the big wheel

“I think Kate Moss was in the Little Gay Brother tent last night, but it might have been a drag queen.”


“I went to see Freddie Fellowes doing a talk about it being the last one, and he burst into tears twice!”


“He was so pissed he was slipping around in the mud like a Bambi.”

“Have you got any electroswing?” – punter asking a DJ


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