Actual pop royalty Madonna played tonsil hockey with rap miserabilist Drake onstage during his Coachella set last night. Madonna has form for this sort of behaviour of course, having famously smooched both Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera at the MTV Video Music Awards way back in 2003. Sadly, this time most everyone’s been distracted from the mild titillation by the decidedly ungentlemanly reaction of Drake, who reacts like a man who’s just accidentally taken a swig out of the tinnie everyone else at the party has been using as an ash tray. I haven’t seen a man look that uncomfortable about kissing a woman since Troy McClure married Selma.
Twitter was swift and merciless in its response, with grime artist JME taking Drake’s side and pointing out that the rapper didn’t exactly give full and frank consent to the larynx lashing:
Failed TV host Piers Morgan also stepped in to call the idea of kissing Madonna “ghastly”, which is pretty rich coming from a man who looks exactly like Piers Morgan:
Although as magazine editor James Brown pointed out, the incident did have a certain ‘family reunion’ vibe to it:
Critic Anthony Fantano speculated as to what could possibly have caused a reaction like that from his Drakeness:
While writer Joe Bish found the whole thing a little too familiar:
Pitchfork writer Craig Jenkins meanwhile was reminded of a particular Drake lyric, from the song ‘Energy’:
For Madonna, Drake’s reaction is probably equally as embarrassing as falling down the stairs at the BRITs – but this is all on him, not her. As Chance The Rapper told NME last year, Madonna is “cute AF”. If Drake reacts like that every time he’s kissed, no wonder he writes so many sad songs.