Overheard at Glastonbury: the most ridiculous utterances from this year’s festival

You'd think 200,000 messy people in a field would talk a lot of sense, but apparently, not so much.

1. “Now robots have learned to open doors, I really don’t trust them”


2. “Miley is so fucking sexy I’m going to die”

Miley - Glasto

3. “I’ll be back in a minute, I’m just going to go and have a look if I can buy a hemp nightie”


4. “They topped it! They fucking topped it! Better than Kasabian, better than Arctic Monkeys, better than the fucking Vaccines, than fucking ANYONE” A quite young man after watching The Cure.

The Cure Glastonbury

5. “I don’t care about their babies, I just want to talk about their vaginal tearings”


6. “Nah gran, I can’t come over this weekend. I’m at Glastonbury.”


7. “Fucking hell, is that Tony Gardner dancing to Stormzy?”


8. “I have paid for a meaningful experience and/or whimsical exchange, and I intend to have one”


9. “The only thing I don’t like about Gerry Cinnamon is it’s too hot.”

Gerry Cinnamon

Gerry Cinnamon

10. “I reckon Michael Eagles should have put him on a bigger stage.”


11. Barman: “I’ve got a secret IPA on this tap cos Carlsberg tastes like piss.”


12. “What time is the sunset?” The Stone Circle, 4am