10 Things You Learn At Your First Ever Glastonbury

1. Wellies are not very comfy shoes.
They’re clearly the only thing up to the challenge of thick mud, but rubber hurts, guys. A lot. (Bring plasters.)


2. This place is ENORMOUS.
Before I came to Glastonbury I was surprised when friends who’d been in the past said they didn’t make it to the headline acts. Now I appreciate that it takes weeks to walk from one stage to another.


3. There is so. Much. Food.
There’s even a stall for bubble and squeak. Which begs the question; who willingly spends money to eat cabbage in the rain?


4. A £10 a day food budget is a horribly ill-judged estimation.
This would be a good budget if you were a mouse who ate only cheese toasties and water. But not the cheese toasties here, because they will cost you six whole pounds.


5. A cup of tea is £2
I tried to find one that was cheaper. I failed.


6. You WILL get lost on the way to your tent.
It’s a long and arduous process, getting back to the tent. It starts with pulling up your phone to find the Glastonbury map, realising you’re out of battery, and digging out a paper map, turning it around multiple times and throwing it on the ground in despair. Once you finally make it to your campsite, all you can do is chuckle as you attempt to pick out your blue tent at what looks like the world’s largest blue tent convention.


7. First timers just can’t find Shangri La.
Someone asked me how to find Shangri La, on my way to Shangri La, which I didn’t find after looking for two and a half hours.


8. Your body will hurt in places you forgot about.
My collar bone, for example, hurts like a bitch.


9. People will pay crazy amounts for a shower
There’s a guy here charging £5 for a shower. I sort of respect his entrepreneurship. And it’s still half the price of a burger!


10. This place is fucking magical.
No explanation needed. You just have to see it for yourself.