From posho accusations to the pantry anecdote, Noel didn't hold back
Last Sunday (April 2) marked Russell Brand’s return to the airwaves, nine years after being suspended by the BBC over “Sachsgate” – for those who don’t remember, he and Jonathan Ross were criticised for ringing Fawlty Towers actor Andrew Sachs’ answerphone and bragging about Russell bedding his granddaughter, Georgina Baillie.
Radio X is his new home for fanciful wordplay and potentially career-ruining tirades, airing every Sunday between 11am – 1pm. For his first show, Russell invited Noel Gallagher on to rekindle their bromance. The results were predictably obscene. Gallagher didn’t hold back, ribbing his mate about his revolutionary political views and his contrasting middle class lifestyle.
You can listen back on the Radio X app. These were the best bits of Brand’s radio comeback:
When Noel failed to turn up
What happened? When Noel’s appearance on Radio X was first billed, he was supposed to be visiting the studio for an on-air chat – but the Oasis man had other commitments. Namely, the footy. “Mate, you have been trailed heavily as being a guest on this show but obviously, you’re not here,” said Russell. Noel had other plans – watching the Arsenal vs. Manchester City game. “Funnily enough, I was in a black cab when we were doing something the other day and I heard this [on the] radio and I’d just left a message, I’d left a message on your answering machine a couple of days before and I’d said to Matt ‘he ain’t getting back to me, tell him I can’t do it cos I’ve got to go to football,’” he said. “Then I hear Chris Moyles’ booming voice ‘and the guest will be Mr Noel Gallagher’. And the guy, the taxi driver said ‘are you on the radio with Russell on Sun… and I was going ‘well I’m actually not. I’m actually gonna be at the football’. He’s going, ‘well he seems to think you’re on it son’.”
Find it: 1 hour, 8 minutes into the show
When Noel outed Russell as a posho
What happened? Throughout the chat, Noel was keen to point out the irony of Russell’s former revolutionary stance. Calling his garden shed a “guest cottage,” he also claimed the comedian had “the River Thames at the end of his garden.” He continued: “Here’s how middle class he is how. The last time you came round to my house, do you know what he brought me as a gift? He brought me half a dozen eggs from his own chickens.” Russell responded by claiming he was turning vegan.
Find it: 1 hour, 21 minutes
When Noel took the piss out of Russell being a dad
What happened? On his upcoming Re:Birth stand-up tour, Russell Brand will be discussing how fatherhood changed his life. Noel isn’t having any of it, though. When the topic came up, he was quick to poke fun at Brand and comedian Matt Morgan, also on the show. “You’ve become the only two men to ever have children,” he said sarcastically. “We’re real pioneers in the realm of fatherhood,” joked Russell. Asked if he thought fatherhood had changed his old pal, Noel replied: “I have noticed great changes and the biggest changes is, we hardly see either of you anymore.”
Find it: 1 hour, 10 minutes
The great pantry anecdote
What happened? In amongst the middle class accusations, the pair moved onto an anecdote about a pantry and a time machine. “The reason I’ve not told this,” Russell began, “is cos there’s words like ‘pantry’ in the story, I thought don’t tell it, because I am very much a man who believes in equality.” Long story short, Russell was stuck in a pantry with his girlfriend (less a pantry, but “a cupboard,” he insisted). Convinced he’d be stuck there forever, Russell decided to pretend he was in a time tunnel. “My girlfriend and I were quite worried. We were concerned we were gonna have to be defecating in spice jars.” After hacking through a door, he managed to master his own escape. But that’s not before Noel’s dog and child somehow get involved. You need to hear it to believe it.
Find it: 1 hour, 12 minutes
- Read more: Russell Brand’s most controversial moments
Noel’s fantastic description of best mate Scully
What happened? For those who don’t know Scully, he’s a long-time best friend of Noel’s. They watch Manchester City games together, although Scully couldn’t make yesterday’s match. “Scully is a man of mystery,” Russell claimed. “He’s always sort of lurking around when I go to your gigs. Often selling tickets outside.” Noel disputed the mystery behind his mate, however, saying there’s not much to him. “If he had layers of an onion he’d be a very, very small onion.”
Find it: 1 hour, 16 minutes
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