Yes, the 38th BRIT Awards have come and gone. It was a stellar night for Dua Lipa, who won British Female Solo Artist and British Breakthrough Act, while Stormzy took on Theresa May and The Daily Mail with an incendiary, politicised performance and likewise picked up two gongs – British Album of the Year and British Male Solo Artist. At one point, host Jack Whitehall wore an enormous jacket, a reference to comedy rapper Big Shaq, who famously proclaims that – despite wearing oversized garms – ‘Man’s Not Hot’.
Throughout the night, though, Jack’s performance was red-hot, as he tore through the celebrities in attendance with a series of putdowns and one-liners. Whether he was making fun of Jesy from Little Mix’s infamously horrific attempt at a Jamaican accent or likening Niall from one Direction to a toddler, he was deliciously merciless. Here are 10 of his greatest hits.
“Remember,” Jack said, “if you don’t win a BRIT Award tonight, you can always just buy one off eBay,” poking fun at the fact that Paul from S Club 7 has been trying to flog his. Jack added: “There ain’t no auction like an S Club auction!”
As Jack was delivering one link in the midst of the audience, the camera pulled back to reveal Philip Schofield and Holly Willoughby in the foreground. “Look, these two are already wasted,” he joked.
After Rita Ora and Liam Payne performed their track ‘For You’, Jack quipped, “”Oof! That was a saucy song. ITV has not seen that much sexual chemistry since the Trump/Morgan interview.”
Chatting to Payne and Cheryl Tweedy, who have a child together, Jack said, “I know it’s probably past his bedtime, but is the little fella watching at home? Shall we give him a wave just in case?” When they all turned to wave at the camera, Jack cooed, “Hello, Niall.”
“If you like Adele songs,” Jack said, “but find them too upbeat, you’re in for a treat – because Sam Smith will be performing!”
Olly Murs had previously been mocked for tweeting that he’d heard gunshots in a back room at Selfridges during a false terror alarm, and Jack wasn’t about to let him forget it. There were flames in the background of Rag’n’Bone Man’s performance, leading Jack to assure the audience, “”Don’t worry, by the way – that was a controlled blaze. Apparently Olly Murs has been tweeting in the toilet telling everyone to evacuate.”
At the start of the show, Jack promised, “We have got a plethora of stars dishing out awards, from national treasure Sir Tom Jones, to regional trinkets, Little Mix.” Ouch!
Even the seemingly bullet-proof Ed Sheeran didn’t escape. Jack joked, “We’ve got one of the biggest artists on the planet, a quadruple BRIT winner… Invited to perform tonight on the strict condition that he didn’t do ‘Galway Girl’, Ed Sheeran is on the bill.”
And he wasn’t done with Little Mix. Jesy had previously done an infamously dreadful Jamaican accent on telly, so Jack, after pointing out that the band had reached three billion views on YouTube, added, “Only two billion of those are people watching you try to do a Jamaican accent, Jesy.”
He saved perhaps his most savage words for Tottenham Hostpur player Harry Kane: “Our next presenter is a Tottenham striker, meaning the BRIT Award he will hand over is probably the only trophy he will get his hands on this season.” Brutal.