Celebrities, they’re just like us. Even when they’re Grammy award winning recording artists that make grown adults act like 13-year-old fanboys. When Frank Ocean released a motherload of content after four years’ hiatus this weekend, many of us simply could not handle it all. But with all the commotion over Frank’s mum leaving a voicemail about marijuana and Kanye writing a poem about McDonald’s, you might have missed one standout feature from the magazine ‘Boys Don’t Cry’ – a double page spread of screenshots from Frank and his collaborators’ web histories.
A unique insight into the everyday life of the likes of ASAP Rocky and James Blake, you might be expecting something astounding. If that’s the case, you’ll be sorely disappointed. What these screenshots really reveal is that celebrities become truly relatable when they get a good internet connection. If you haven’t used the net to search for at least one of the things on this list, then what are you using it for?
Even Kanye’s used one of these. See the Pirate Bay tab.
Googling the person you fancy
James Blake’s web history reveals four searches for Jameela Jamil. Maybe he wants to find out where she went to school. Maybe he wants to know if she’s single. Is anyone not guilty of a cheeky background check? Or at the very least, stalking the Facebook photos of someone you really like more than once in the same day. Just me and James? Ok then.
Name a country you’ve seen more BBC documentaries on than North Korea. The world is obsessed with finding out details about this mysterious country, starting with the Wikipedia page and ending, as Blake has done, on the Pyongyang subreddit. Wonder if he’s considering going on the official state tour?
Bloody pop ups
We’re guessing none of them actually wanted to see “how to make an extra 1000 dollars a month from home”.
Taylor Swift tunes
It’s a bangin’ tune, and you wanna hear it on the regular. Just like James Blake, nearly one billion people have listened to ‘Bad Blood’ on YouTube at the time of writing.
ASAP Rocky is you at 3am on the weird side of the internet. In his web history is a video entitled “girl has huge cyst drained from her arm”, which is disturbingly specific, but come on. Everyone loves/hates a gross YouTube video from time to time. ‘Dr Pimple Popper’, who posts ‘zit porn’ – videos of spots, cysts and blackheads getting squeezed and drained in her dermatologist studio – has over 1.6 million subscribers. The world relates, Rocky.
I think this is the one. Warning: it’s very graphic and very gross and quite horrible.
Music: https://soundcloud.com/angelojules/sets/1991-the-xperiment https://play.spotify.com/album/2oW4YByJqlRs0y5xnJckRD Girl Has A Huge Cyst Drained From Her Arm!
Get fit quick schemes
Michael Uzowuru visited pages for ‘How to do a burpee’, ‘Mountain climbers’, and ‘short exercises to burn 200 calories’ alongside a load of searches related to elite athletes and the NBA. What’s even more relatable is the fact that he used search results from POPSUGAR Fitness.
Specifically, Uzowuru looked at ‘100 recipes for the fourth’, so now I picture him scrolling through Pinterest convinved he’s capable of making a triple layer red, white and blue victoria sponge with handmade fondant and decoration, only to realise he doesn’t own any food colouring. Just like us, he’ll settle for a shit fairy cake with dribbly icing. It’s the Pinterest board that counts.