It’s the show that turned a penis into Biggie Smalls and introduced us to the nipple sombrero. The addictive Tattoo Fixers returned to our tellies last night, with the team decamping to Malia to be closer to the source of many a shit tat – a boozy holiday.
However, the show has this year been the target of widespread criticism from the tattooing community. In March, the hashtag #FuckTattooFixers started doing the rounds as a response to what tattoo artist Anthony Flemming called the “absolute abysmal representation of the UK tattoo scene” on the E4 programme. The complainants have claimed the show caused severe damage to a customer’s skin, that they have not followed good working practices, and that one of the artists, Sketch, routinely plagiarises designs.
But the biggest complaint? The fact that Jay, Sketch and Alice do big, dark, fuck-off tats to cover up tiny crap ones.
So, ranked in order of unnecessary extra size, here are 10 Tattoo Fixers cover-ups that didn’t need to be so bloody big.
1. Grandpa Mick’s Monkey
Grandpa Mick had a creative use for his belly button.
See no evil? It’s too late, mate.
2. Natalie’s Big Wolf
Natalie decided to remember the time her cat visited from beyond the grave with a small tattoo.
Now, her whole forearm serves as a reminder for her regrets.
3. Dom’s Camel Hump
The bearer of this tattoo had the hump.
Hope they like random portraits.
4. The Beast Is Gone
The customer did this one himself. Can you tell?
A giant skull with stink lines soon sorted it out though.
5. If I Could Fly Away
This #Lad went and “James-d” himself.
So Alice went and “Alice-d” all over it.
6. J.J’s Filthy Fubbing
J.J thought it would be great to honour Tracey Emin with her “filthy” tattoo.
Now she blends in with your gran’s wallpaper.
7. Sean’s Lucky Charms
Sean decided to piss all over his heritage with a well endowed Leprechaun.
Now he can repel vampires in style.
8. Fraternity Tats
Just a couple of lads, drawing well hung dinosaurs on each others’ legs.
Now they’re in the illuminati.
9. Jules’s Bloody Mess
It’s her ex’s hand print.
It’s… er… a squished moth on a skull?
10. Jack’s Big Hoot
It’s the kind of joke that gets less funny the more you see it. But hey, at least it’s small.