69 Mind-Boggling Things We Witnessed In Coldplay’s New Video For ‘Up&Up’

In the following blog we will attempt to list, in order, all of the strange, surreal and symbolic things in the mind-boggling new Coldplay video for ‘Up & Up’ (which, by the way, is the track from their latest album, ‘A Head Full Of Dreams’, on which Noel Gallagher plays guitar). OK, let’s get on with it:


1. Turtle flying through subway station
2. Porpoises in the sky
3. People swimming in washing machines
4. Person swinging from satellite limb
5. Normal-sized girl fishing by tiny Golden Gate Bridge, or really enormous girl fishing by normal-sized Golden Gate Bridge, we just don’t know

6. Women on balcony looking directly out at constellations
7. Synchronized swimmers in teacup
8. Football match happening on cake shaped like a football pitch, possibly in a giant’s kitchen. Again, we just don’t know
9. Lady diving into clouds


10. Popcorn erupting from volcano, combining two of our greatest fears
11. Totally impractical skyscraper cereal
12. Inception
-style world-bending
13. Massive Will Champion playing massive drums in a valley
14. Massive lady swimming above city
15. Bald eagle flying underwater

16. Boat soup
17. Huge Chris Martin lying all over fields, unknowingly causing untold devastation


18. Pasta skydivers
19. Flying manta ray, friend to surfers
20. Upside-down sky-boat
21. Big Jonny Buckland treading on fields and all wildlife in them
22. Cyclists scaling skyscrapers
23. Irresponsible baby clutching onto aeroplane wing
24. Person jumping off tortoise head into water
25. Mountain-sized Guy Berryman playing bass for his mountain friends


26. Car driving over city buildings
27. Big Will Champion again, this time on shiny archipelago
28. Car recklessly driving through mystery tunnel to space
29. Submarine-rider and general weirdo
30. Massive butterfly drinking from oil rig
31. Tiny elephants following big Hoover
32. Protestors by big house of cards
33. Colourful upside-down city hanging above sea


34. Washington Monument high-jump
35. Big girl
36. Wormholes parachuting. (Yes, seriously)
37. Big Guy Berryman again
38. Go-kart on the moon
39. City plagued by beautiful but obstructive and untameable flowers


40. Cosmic superhighway
41. Chris Martin leaning back on a mountain, possibly causing avalanches
42. Subway turtle
43. Underwater plane
44. Enormous poppies underneath tiny helicopters
45. Rocket people with a death wish
46. Large Johnny Buckland obstructing a plane’s flight path
47. Horses racing over the sea by a motorboat
48. Skiers on a huge snow pillow


49. Johnny B in the clouds again
50. Planes in a double world
51. Planets hovering above the pavement
52. Star tunnel
53. Someone swimming on the side of a car (this is our favourite image, by the way)
54. Guy Berryman properly way above cloud level. Like, what a tall dude
55. Someone trying to iron a waterfall, the idiot
56. Continent-sized swimmer raising sea level significantly
57. Chris Martin stamping on crops again, does he actually just hate farmers like
58. Subway window to distant galaxy
59. Flying jellyfish monster
60. Porpoises in the sky


61. Kids running to a horizon, with view of much broader horizon
62. Encore: washing machine swimmers
63. Drivers circling Saturn’s dust ring (a close second-favourite image)
64. Chris Martin even bigger than before, lying on the land with a plane flying past his ear
65. Model plane flying past a bookshelf on a mountain
66. The satellite swing again
67. Even bigger Will Champion on a tiny bit of land, where will he sleep and eat and stuff
68. People falling upwards
69. Person swimming through clouds

In all seriousness, the video makes important points about refugees, war and the environment – with shots of environmental destruction, refugees, and even Donald Trump’s ‘wall’ – so make sure to give it a proper watch: