An American Parents’ Website Has Described Every Filthy Thing In ‘Sausage Party’ And It’s Terrifying

It seems unlikely that many parents would want to take their kids to see Sausage Party, the filthy-minded and supremely potty-mouthed spoof of Disney Pixar movies like Finding Nemo and Monsters, Inc. which has earned a pretty self-explanatory R-rating from the Motion Picture Association of America. But if some very, very open-minded mums and dads are still sitting on the fence, they can access an incredibly detailed analysis of the film’s naughty bits on the Kids In Mind website, which outlines its purpose as being to “provide parents and other adults with objective and complete information about a film’s content so that they can decide, based on their own value system, whether they should watch a movie with or without their kids”.

Now, the website’s full 1,800-word (!) examination of Sausage Party is definitely worth reading in full, but if you can’t quite stomach it, here are five mind-boggling highlights.

1. Um, but what exactly is an “anal-vaginal-oral daisy chain?”

“A rapid sequence of scenes shows food items having various sorts of multiple partner sex (seemingly oral, vaginal and anal, although the food items have no genitals): Four items make an anal-vaginal-oral daisy chain, all thrusting wildly as a taco sucks violently on a hotdog; a hotdog slides into a bun, turns face down and thrusts; and close-ups show the faces of food items having orgasms (moaning, screaming, and their eyes rolling back in their heads).”

2. This, apparently, is how you objectify a hot dog bun

“A female taco and a female bun have short, bare human legs with high heels on their feet (the bun has bumps representing breasts and bulbous buttocks that waggle as she walks) and the bun and other buns have a few inches of lipstick on their bun openings.”

3. This bun sounds a bit fussy, tbh

“A bun argues with a hotdog and says she would rather have a parsnip, a pickle, or an eggplant in her and the hotdog says eggplant is too big for her.”

4. Whereas this bun clearly likes to experiment.

“A hotdog pulls a string of pearls out of the bottom of a bun.”

5. And finally, we don’t know fully understand this description, but we’re pretty sure it’s pure filth

“A male douche bottle jumps into the trousers of a male grocery clerk and the clerk shouts that something went up his anus; the douche opens the zipper from inside and laughs maniacally, pinches the shouting man’s genitals (which we do see) and grabs a hotdog climbing the man’s leg, the man grabs hold of the hotdog and appears to be masturbating it but is trying to get the food off him.”

Wow. If that’s still not enough, you can read Kids In Mind’s full analysis of Sausage Party here.