Finally, it’s here. The centre-piece and title track of Arctic Monkeys‘ absurd and amazing new album ‘Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino’ has finally been given the full Stanley Kubrick-indebted video treatment. And just like the ‘Four Out Of Five’ video before it, there’s an absolute mountain of brilliant and barmy moments to choose from.
From that already-iconic “Mark speaking!” line, to Alex Turner romping around on a moped like a teenager who’s just passed his CBT test, below we’ve rounded up all the very best moments of the ‘Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino’ video, in gif form.
Alex in the day spa
HE’S GOT HIS FUCKING TOP OFF. God, this has started fantastically already, and we’re only 21 seconds in.
The Martini Police
This one’s a bit of an insight – “who you gonna call, The Martini Police?”, Alex Turner sings on the album’s opener ‘Star Treatment’. Thousands have since wondered who these mysterious cocktail coppers are – social scientists and mixologists alike have wracked the brains, even lost their lives, in pursuit of the answer. Well, turns out they were barking up the wrong highball – The Martini Police aren’t actual bar crawl law enforcers at all – instead, they’re performers in the (fictional) Tranquility Base hotel itself. That ‘2 shows a day 4 nights a week’ is another reference to ‘Star Treatment’, too, seemingly suggesting that The Martini Police is Alex’s alternate universe backing band. No word on whether alt-Helders is behind the drums still, mind. Also: that maths means the band is playing 416 shows a year.
Bye bye beardy boy
Great news, everyone. We already knew the beard had been resigned to Alex’s bathroom bin, but now we’ve got confirmation, in the form of a slightly-too-long, lingering shot on his impressively bare chin. He didn’t miss a single hair. Such talent.
There it is. A line that’s become an unlikely festival calling card, immortalised in video form. Look how stern he looks. This isn’t a joke, kids. Mark is speaking – now you listen.
In the bloody mood
“Technological advances,” Alex croons, “really bloody get me in the mood.” Us too, mate. New iPhone announcement? Corrrr. The nationwide roll-out of fibre-optic broadband? We’re getting all hot under the collar. Here he is in the clip, on the blower to reception and owning up to his techy festish, and doing a weird sort of jiggle that we’re assuming isn’t meant to be a Sex Thing. Hard to tell though, innit?
Nananana, nananana, nananana, nananana, BATPHONE
Look at the absolute state of it. We’ve let Alex go too far here, really, haven’t we? An actual Batphone. In a Batmobile. He’s been at Comic-con all weekend, hasn’t he? For fuck’s sake.
“Mark speaking”, round two
This time, he’s gurning his way ’round his hotel room in a bath robe. As you do.
Probably the video’s weirdest moment, this. As the track reaches its middle-eight, Alex pops off to the desert for an impromptu photoshoot with some wild horses. Is everything okay at home, mate?
Alex on the open road
Look at him go! Our lil Al’ has only gone and won himself a moped, and he’s off out on the open road like a college student zooming to Maccies on their lunch break. He’ll pick you up a double cheese if you ask nicely, but he’ll whack a quid delivery charge on it. The cheeky git!