This month most of the pop cosmos has its alarm clock set for any kind of Beyoncé announcement, and it rang right off the bedside table this afternoon (3 April) for her latest teaser clip. ‘#BeyHereNow’ is an epic six seconds’ of video incorporating a couple of seconds of crunk-funk that could be ‘Work It Out’ at 78rpm and an announcement of an announcement to take place at 2pm our time tomorrow (4 April). Obviously this tells us pretty much bugger all, so let’s pretend we understand.
She’s wearing the Sasha Fierce glove
That piece of Robocop meets Terminator kit flexing away on her left hand is part of Beyoncé’s get-up when she’s her in-yer-face alter ego Sasha Fierce. Now, Sasha was supposed to have been put to bed a few years back because Bey no longer needed to split her personality, man. Maybe she needs to now. Maybe Sasha Fierce is the polar opposite of Mrs Carter. Maybe we’re overthinking.
Perhaps this is showing us Bey understands Twitter even though she’s only used it a pitiful four times. It’s possible she instinctively understands it without needing to get her roboclaws dirty.
Is the new album a track-for-track re-imagining of Oasis’s cocaine classic? Or a yogic-spiritualist text for hippies who can’t let go? Or does the new track just have a clunking pun for a title? We’ve got fewer than 24 hours to thrash these ideas out so get busy.
What with this and the recent “leak” ‘Bow Down’/’I Been On’, the feeling is ‘If I Were A Boy’ boo-hoos are going to be in short supply with the new stuff. Beyoncé appears intent on running this mutha with an iron fist in a chrome cyberglove. That all seems satisfactory.
Oh. It was a Pepsi advert.
Well, enjoy a snippet of new song ‘Grown Woman’ and multiple Beyoncés anyway: