WHO THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU? “(Bursts into song) I’m the father of 22, get out you dirty b*stard!”
Hi, Brian. Are you at home?
I’m in my shed! I like to look out at my garden with all my things from expeditions all around me. Models of old elephants and God knows WHAT.
Do you get into character before people phone you?
Oh, I’m just me. Always me. Always Brian Blessed, nobody else.
Have you been getting more work since people started writing #blessed on Twitter?
I really have, but it’s very difficult – 50 per cent of my life is acting and voiceovers and the other 50 per cent is exploration. I have to work out my time with great discipline.
So you’ve got a new book out…
I’ve already written five books and a coffee-table book! But normally I can’t stand actors’ books! They’re always full of SH*TE! “I met my very good friend and we had lunch then dinner” — OH F*** OFF! I can’t bear all that. But there are lots of explorers in mine.
You said you’ve written a coffee-table book but realistically, how much is there to write about coffee tables?
Well, it was a coffee-table book about EVEREST! Stage by stage, how to climb it — how your brain can blow up, how your eyes can come out!
And you start your new book with a story about someone having a poo halfway up Everest. That’s not exactly “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”, is it?
I’m giving you something organic! You don’t go up Everest and go “I’m going for a wee-wee and a little poo” — if you’re up there at 27,000 feet you will DIE if you don’t F***ING SH*T PROPERLY.
The book contains the phrase “what a pillock”. What other insults have gone out of fashion?
If Ellie Goulding asked you to shout “Goulding’s alive” at the start of her new album, what would you say?
Oh yes, absolutely, I’d do that. Do you want me to do that? Yes.
How did you get the role of Grampy Rabbit in Peppa Pig?
They just offered it to me! And I’ve signed up to do another 25! It’s amazing! I believe last year Peppa Pig brought in $1billion! It’s bringing in more money than any film!
What do they pay you?
Well, I get between £500 and £1,000 per episode. That’s not bad at all! Do you know how much my first job was? At 14? THIRTY-FIVE SHILLINGS! For making COFFINS!
Now they’re back in, are you glad you stuck with your beard?
OH YES! I’ve always had a beard. I’ve always been me! I survive and I survive. I don’t believe in death! It dosn’t exist! Forget this f***ing age crap. It’s not how old you are, it’s how you’re old! Don’t let the b*stards grind you down!
Can I call you in the future if I ever need a pep talk?
ANY TIME, my old son!