Can You Guess The Plot Of Star Wars: The Force Awakens From Its Leaked Soundtrack?

Soundtracks are pretty innocuous things most of the time. They’re arguably at their best when you don’t even notice how they’re affecting your experience of a film – when they’re just sort of there, in the background. You wouldn’t expect one to, you know, spoil the plot of one of the most anticipated movies of the millennium by its very existence. But that could be what this accidentally published soundtrack listing has done, just three weeks ahead of the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

Not ones to dodge such a opportunity, we’re having a pop at speculating wildly on the plot of the new film, based on the soundtrack’s 23 track titles. Avert your eyes now if you think we might guess right, and click on the below track to set the scene…

Yellow words float mysteriously through space; the audience takes a breath.

The camera pans down onto desert planet Jakku. It’s home to scavenger and protagonist Rey (Daisy Ridley), who could be Han Solo and Leia’s daughter, if we’re in the mood for believing fan theories.

Now this scene is probably happening while Rey isn’t in the village, because we’ve seen shots of her doing some scavenging in the trailers and she’s unlikely to stay scavenging on the planet after it’s been attacked. Just a hunch.

There are theories that Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac – below), a Resistance pilot, starts the film on the hunt for Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber, which was lost in Episode V, The Empire Strikes Back. He’s following reports that the Jedi weapon has been found on desert planet Jakku, and after discovering it, he hides it inside spherical astromech droid BB-8. Knowing he’s being hunted by the First Order, he sends BB-8 on the run to keep the lightsaber secret and safe.

Soon, the First Order arrives to attack the village, led by Gwendoline Christie’s Captain Phasma (below). There are flamethrowers, there’s lots of death, and it’s pretty terrifying. Finn (John Boyega), a disillusioned stormtrooper, is pushed to breaking point by the atrocities he’s forced to commit here.

Poe Dameron’s X-wing is destroyed, and with flames surrounding the village, nasty bad guy Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) arrives in a ship. What the First Order is after is the lightsaber, and according to some fans it’s because the weapon holds secret powers. Some say it will allow Ren to find and kill Luke Skywalker.

So that’s Rey below in her scavenging uniform, just doing some scavenging. On her way back from the junkyard, she sees that the village has been attacked. Shit’s gone down. She’s not that bothered, because we know she doesn’t have any family – not since she was 5 years old – so she carries on with her life. It’s very lonely and sad. Until she has a run-in with a new character, that is…

Finn discovers Poe Dameron (below) being tortured by Kylo Ren – Ren needs to know where that lightsaber is – and Finn decides to free Poe, having become disillusioned with the First Order he’s served since childhood.

Poe and Finn escape in a TIE fighter – they break its leash in the process (below) – but in the escape they get shot down back onto Jakku.

Poe – having taken off his pilot jacket – is unconscious in the pilot seat. Finn ejects him from the TIE fighter before it crashes, then ejects himself. Still wearing his stormtrooper outfit (below), he decides to put on Poe’s jacket so he doesn’t get discovered, before wandering towards the closest settlement. At some point between here and track 13, Poe gets back to the Resistance base on the planet we’re assuming is Yavin 4 – but we’re not sure how.

Meanwhile, Rey discovers Poe Dameron’s abandoned droid BB-8, who is caught up in the net of an alien scavenger called Teedo (below). Rescuing him from his fate, she takes him back to her house/commune/hovel. She has no idea that the lightsaber is inside her new mechanical friend.

Rey bumps into Finn on the way back home. She saves him from an attack by some village thugs, using her staff. She’s nice like that.

This bit is just character development and stuff. Which, if it’s good, will earn the film big bonus points. Here’s a shot of her looking pensive.

There’s another sudden attack by the First Order. Kylo Ren discovered from Poe that the droid, BB-8, has the lightsaber. BB-8 becomes the object of his pursuit – so Rey and Finn are in peril. They’re running towards a ship to make their escape, but just before they reach it it’s blown up. Suddenly they see the Millennium Falcon, which has been abandoned on the planet. Taking the controls they flee from the First Order fleet by flying through the junkyard, destroying its ships Below you can see Rey piloting the ship at its iconic window, while Finn mans its gun turret. Han Solo and Chewbacca are nowhere to be seen.

After making their escape they somehow come into contact with wizened smuggling duo Han Solo and Chewbacca. These guys can complete the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, thank you very much. You’ll put less trust in their abilities when you learn that a parsec is a unit of distance, but still – they faced off against the Empire and won. Rey and Finn are in good hands.

Someone spends a lot of time talking about Rey, who has a staff. “Look at that girl with the staff”, they say. “What’s that girl with the staff all about?” they’ll ask. “That girl with the staff – she looks like business.”

Danger! Rathtars! After all, that’s a way more ominous alien name than Gungans (Jar Jar Binks, 1999’s The Phantom Menace) and Ewoks (Wicket, 1983’s Return Of the Jedi). We sincerely hope these critters/people aren’t funny or cute. They sound like raptors – space raptors. Or maybe pirates?

Perhaps Rey, Finn, Han, Chewie and BB-8 are captured by some space pirates, before escaping.

Finn used to be a stormtrooper, but he only met Rey after changing into Poe’s clothes. No one knows he used to be a stormtrooper. Going out on a limb here – perhaps this is the scene where he reveals he used to be a stormtrooper? Probably to Han Solo, Rey and Chewie, if we’re still on the Millennium Falcon.

BB-8 suddenly reveals that he’s holding Luke’s lightsaber. Everyone is shocked. Han Solo decides they should all go and see Maz, and as they arrive he gives Rey a blaster.

Han, Finn, Rey, and BB-8 all go and see Maz Kanata (Lupita Nyong’o), an ancient alien pirate who can see stuff through people’s eyes, or something. Chewie stays on the Falcon.

Maz shows them a vision to do with the lightsaber. She knows that either Rey or Finn is Force-sensitive – hell, maybe both of them are – and tells them to ‘let it in’. Rey is horrified by the harm the lightsaber has done in its time and runs out of the castle.

Starkiller was a term for a Force-trained assassin in the game Star Wars: The Force Unleashed. In The Force Awakens, it’s apparently the First Order base. But knowing that there’s a track called ‘The Starkiller’, perhaps this could be referring to Kylo Ren as a sort of Dark Side agent.

Behind the scenes in the First Order ship, Kylo stares at the crumpled helmet of Darth Vader, says “I will finish what you started”, like in the trailers, and generally gets all miffed. Then he turns his miffage into anger, anger into hate, and hate into the Dark Side. That’s how the Dark Side works – Yoda told us.

Having tracked the group to Maz’s castle, the First Order arrives on the same planet. Rey, having run away, is in the forest with BB-8. She looks on from the outside as the castle crumbles.

Which battle, you ask? The battle on Yavin 4, where the First Order have just arrived, of course! We’re guessing it’s there and not on the snow planet featured in the trailers because Han and Leia seem to meet on the forest planet, and there’s a track named after them coming right up.

Kylo is after Rey and BB-8, thinking she still has the lightsaber. She shoots at him with the blaster Han gave her, but fails to hit him. Meanwhile, Han and Finn have gone back to the Falcon to search for Rey from above. Along with Chewie, they crash the ship.

They surrender to the First Order, but soon the Resistance – whose base is on the same planet as Maz’s castle – arrives to save them.

Finn and Poe Dameron meet up here again. This is after Poe’s got away from the First Order on Jakku, somehow. That works, right?

How better to lure away Finn and get that bloody lightsaber of Luke’s than to abduct his friend Rey? If that’s actually what happens, we’ll be a bit disappointed. By rights, as the series’ ostensible main protagonist – just look at the poster – Rey should be kicking ass and not being used as a bargaining chip.

The Resistance, meanwhile, repels the attack.

So old flames Han Solo and General Leia of the Resistance meet up after the skirmish and have a big, sad hug. Maybe they say some stuff about the passing of time, their broken relationship, their sorrow. Then everyone moves on.

As Kylo Ren departs, and after the Resistance has repelled the First Order, General Leia and her crew form a plan.

The Resistance mobilises to go and recapture Rey/attack the First Order base/both. At this point in the film we’re a bit lost, plot-wise, but we haven’t been to the snow planet yet, so let’s assume they’re going there.

Snoke is the name of Andy Serkis’ First Order Supreme Leader character. We know little about Snoke, but apparently he’s a very tall, very deep-voiced character – potentially of giant proportions – and he’s in charge of Kylo Ren. Presumably Ren brings his abductee back here to see him.

We see the First Order base’s operations from Rey’s perspective, now she’s in captivity. Including Domhnall Gleeson’s character, General Hux, who’s overseeing the base’s evil operations.

So evil.

The Resistance attack the First Order base; meanwhile, Finn, Han and Chewie secretly make their way into the base, to free Rey from captivity.

Torn apart is referring to how your heart will feel when Han Solo/Chewie (delete as appropriate) appears to get killed by a blast of the force from Kylo Ren. Rey weeps over his chilling body in the snow; Finn attempts to stave off attacks from Kylo Ren but gets knocked down. Rey takes up Finn’s lightsaber and manages to hold her own against him. When Resistance forces manage to destroy the First Order base, Kylo Ren flees the battle, leaving Rey with Finn and a dead Han Solo.

Rey, having realised she is Force sensitive, begins her reign of badassery.

Luke feels what the scientists are calling a ‘disturbance in the Force’ and realises he needs to contact Rey and/or Finn. He puts his hand on his trusty astromech droid R2-D2 to… er… broadcast his message. Yeah.

Definitely the tackiest of the track names. This is where the Resistance fighter jets – led by pro pilot Poe Dameron – zoom around the snow planet destroying stuff. Some lovely air action sequences happen. The Resistance makes inroads against the First Order, but then a catastrophic weapon is unleashed, forcing the Resistance to retreat.

Back on Yavin 4, a grieving Leia says goodbye to Rey, Finn and Chewie, who go and find Luke.

They find Luke, finally! He’s in the film for about five minutes, right at the end. He’s Yoda-weird after spending years alone at the Jedi steps, on a random planet. Finn’s and/or Rey’s Jedi training begins. The First Order hatch an evil plan to get back at the Resistance – maybe in that scene where General Hux is addressing all the stormtroopers. The scene is set for Episode VIII.

So… how did we do? Find out later this month.