Comedian Josh Widdicombe On The Pains Of Being A Good Housemate

Josh Widdicombe, the star of new sitcom Josh, which starts tonight on BBC Three, tells us how to eat, drink, wash, sleep, relax and live with other people. Sort of.

WASHING UP
Josh: “As students, we completely failed with the washing up. You’d constantly have to eat out of the wrong receptacle. You’d end up with a cup of cornflakes or a plate of tea. Never leave a pot standing unless it’s got water in, then you’ve got 12 hours to clean it properly, or you’re a bad person.”

COOKING
Josh: “When I first went to university, I did a big shop with my dad. We bought loads of stuff but it didn’t occur to me that I needed to refrigerate it, so I just put it in my room. I remember thinking, ‘What’s that smell coming from under the bed?’ It was a bag of potatoes. How long does it take for a potato to rot? Months! Use a fridge.”

HYGIENE
Josh: “We had a shower at uni where you had to run the cold tap in the bathroom sink to get the shower to get hot. You had to set the temperature in the sink to get to the opposite temperature in the shower, so there was always a huge queue because it took at least 20 minutes. It was basicallya two-man job.”

HOUSE PARTIES
Josh: “I’ll never have a house party again. You stand around for ages worried that nobody’s coming and the next minute you’re queuing for your own toilet while someone you’ve never met is asking you if you know whose party this is.”

OVERNIGHT GUESTS
Josh: “I remember when my friend started going out with this girl who had previously been going out with someone in the flat above us. She was staying and there was a fire alarm and we all had to assemble outside. It was so tense because she was there with her ex-boyfriend and my friend she’d just started sleeping with. Never date your neighbour’s ex.”

WASHING
Josh: “I shrunk my favourite jeans in my first week of university. I’d never done a wash before. That’s the problem with uni – you ruin your clothes and end up with mouldy potatoes under the bed. There should be a boot camp before uni where you learn to be an adult.”