The funniest things we overheard at Green Man

It seems the people of Green Man weren't happy that Ryan Adams didn't do his Robin Hood song.

Erudite types, the punter/parents of Green Man Festival. In craft ale terms, they know their Dead Canary from their Wanking Lemming and in leftfield rock terms they can tell their Lift To Experience from their Pictish Trails. So you’d expect a classier form of overheard snippet here, am I right? Well, yes and no…

“That feller’s lost his marbles!” – lady watching Future Islands


“And that man on the keyboards was… Martin Rev” – awestruck stoned man at 2am in the campsite, telling a lengthy story about having seen Suicide once

“We’ve got a wilting issue in the sessions tent but someone’s on their way to fix it” – outside the sessions tent

“Alfie’s been a very naughty boy and needs a time out. He threw the iPad at Alice” – dad to mum in the campsite, via Twitter

“So is it genetics or alcohol that makes me more aggressive?” – woman talking to expert in Einstein’s Garden

“Apparently the guy from Future Islands’ balls fell out of his trousers last night…” – by the Mountain Stage during This Is The Kit

“Having a good time mate?” “I was until Ryan Adams came on. He didn’t do any of the hits. ‘Summer Of ‘69’, ‘Run To You’, I didn’t hear any of them.” (Someone farts) “Is that thunder?” “Whatever it is, it’s very, very frightening.” – in the gents toilets


“Is it fucking November?” – in the freezing campsite

Mum: “And this is where they pitch the tents for you before you arrive.”
Two children, simultaneously: “Glamping!” – in the campsite

“I wonder how many pints of Growler I’d have to have before I married him?” – man in Far Out tent watching Andrew Angus from Liars play in a wedding dress

“So, George Michael, what would you serve with curry? ‘Well I guess it would be rice’.” – best gag in the comedy tent, from Rob Deering

“I wish for good GCSE results (and a boyfriend and drugs would be nice too)” – on the Wishing Tree

“I’m about to ruin every song you’ve ever known. This is… chicken karaoke!” – second best gag in the comedy tent, from Felicity Ward

“Worked out the magic formula for picking a band @GreenManFest; 2 drummers / trumpets / beards / mohawks = good. Flutes = walk away at pace” – @hannahblarblar via Twitter