U OK hun? The least PG lyrics on Harry Styles’ new album

"Woke up alone in this hotel room, played with myself, got drunk by noon..."

With the release of self-titled solo debut album today (May 12) Harry Styles has joined the ranks Miley Cyrus, Robbie Williams and his old pal Zayn Malik: leaving behind the tween-targeting project that made him famous, he’s shocking audiences with his new, more adult material. The album is full of lyrics that’ll subvert the expectations of those who loved the PG-ness of One Direction – read on for Styles’ take on gak, sad-wanks, morphine, one-night stands and what sounds like his personal version of the film Knocked Up.

Track 1 – ‘Meet Me in the Hallway’

I just left your bedroom, give me some morphine, is there any more to do? … I gotta get better.”


Track 6 – ‘Only Angel’


I’m still the only one who’s been in love with me / I’m just happy getting you stuck in between my teeth

Couldn’t take you home to mother in a skirt that short but I think that’s what I like about it…


Told it to her brother and she told it to me / That she’s gonna be an angel, just you wait and see / When it turns out she’s a devil in between the sheets


Track 7 – ‘Kiwi’


She sits beside me like a silhouette / Hard candy dripping on me ’til my feet are wet / And now she’s all over me, it’s like I paid for it

It’s New York, baby, always jacked up / Holland Tunnel for a nose, it’s always backed up

When she’s alone she goes home to a cactus.”


I think she said: ‘I’m having your baby, it’s none of your business’.”

Track 10 – ‘From The Dining Table’

Woke up alone in this hotel room, played with myself, where were you? Got drunk by noon, I’ve never felt less cool.

Woke up the girl who looked just like you / I almost said your name.”


Track 4 – ‘Two Ghosts’

We’re including this because the story is vaguely interesting, but the lyrics aren’t all that. It’s supposedly the ‘Taylor Swift song’. “It’s not you and it’s not me,” the lyrics go. “Tastes so sweet, looks so real / Sounds like something that I used to feel / But I can’t touch what I see“. Asked about the lyrics by Nick Grimshaw on BBC Radio 1, Styles said: “I think it’s pretty, like, self-explanatory. I think, you know, it’s about sometimes things change and you can do all the same things… and sometimes it’s just different, you know?” He added: “2017, philosopher, London.” Grimshaw then introduced the track as “the one about Taylor Swift”, to which Styles replied: “Ahh, oh no!”