“I told someone their head was shaped like an almond”
This week Instagram introduced a new feature where users can ask each other questions. On the surface, that sounds like a fairly harmless idea, doesn’t it? Loads of people have been behaving themselves nicely, asking each other wholesome things like “is football coming home yet?” and “can I have the recipe for that banging spaghetti carbonara you make sometimes?” However – and this is why we can’t ever have nice things – a fair few people have been using the new questions function to be meanies.
As Justin Timberlake once sang, what goes around, goes around, goes around comes all the way back around. Karma famously prides itself on being an absolute bitch, and over the last few days, those using Instagram Questions for nastiness have received an unexpected surprise. Why? Despite what some people assumed, questions are not anonymous.
A few people have also mistakenly revealed their hidden crushes on the feature. Thinking that the questions were anonymous, loads of users have sent revealing messages. Some are heartwarming declarations of love. We’re yet to see confirmation of a real life couple getting together as a result of an accidental post, but there’s still time.
Others have sent downright inappropriate stuff to other Instagrammers, before instantly regretting it. Here’s the thing about unsolicited sexts; if you’d rather your name wasn’t attached to it, you probably shouldn’t hit that send button in the first place.
In a throwback that makes it feel like we’re all stuck in an Ask.fm timewarp, minus the anonymity, people are also getting restless waiting for the people they fancy to answer their questions on the feature. Because, as we all know, it’s a real game changer if the object of your affections prefers Rag ‘N’ Bone Man to Britney Spears.
Others are left disappointed because they’ve found out some vital new tidbits of information that means their undying love (or lust, depends who you ask) truly unrequited. Some people have learned their crush isn’t actually single, while others have discovered they were mistakenly crushing on a straight guy all along. And a few people are spending an unhealthy amount of time refreshing their phones in the hope that James from AS psychology class pops up to ask something wildly flirtatious like “what’s ur fave colour?” or better still, “wubu2?”
There’s a moral to all of this. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Ask responsibly, everyone.