Philadelphia Police’s ‘Hotline Bling’ Rendition Is A Brand New Drake-Based Low

At what point did the world collectively decide that the ‘Hotline Bling’ meme was officially dead? If we were playing Cluedo, who would we say murdered it, and where? Was it Donald Trump in the SNL studio with the right-wing agenda, on November 7? Was it this Kentucky gospel group in the church with the religious message, on November 12? Was it Channel 4 newsreader Jon Snow on Big Fat Quiz Of The Year with the British embarrassment, at Christmastime?

It’s not an Agatha Christie novel, so there’s no neat resolution. The killer is still at large. One thing we know for sure, though, is that the ‘Hotline Bling’ meme is dead, and anyone who’s still playing with its corpse is not only plumbing the depths of meme-bandwagon lameness, they’re also defiling a dead body. Philadelphia police, you should be ashamed of yourselves.


A snow storm is coming..and you know what that means. Soon, people everywhere will be using cones, lawn chairs, trashcans, uh, toilets, and any other household item that they can think of to save their shoveled-out parking spot. Folks – the spot isn’t yours, and saving it is against the law. Don’t fight and argue with your neighbors – if you see an offending spot saver, call 911 and the PPD will swing by and check it out.Oh! Since we are a totally hip police department, and as such, we know that the kids like the Drake, we made this neat video that you can share with them! Now, it’s easy for young kids everywhere to get the message that when it comes to holding parking spots on public streets, Philadelphia is a #NoSavesies city!

Posted by Philadelphia Police Department on Wednesday, 20 January 2016

In case you’re wondering what that was all about – it’s currently snowy in Philadelphia, and people are using cones to stop other people from parking cars in spots they’ve shovelled out themselves. Some people get around this by moving the cones, which angers the people who put them there, and they get into street fights. Philly police are trying to pre-emptively stop those fights with this public service announcement. The question is: at what cost?