What are you doing on July 26th? That’s right, you’re going to Thorpe Park with Stormzy. The ‘Shut Up’ rapper has invited us all to celebrate his 23rd birthday with a trip to the Surrey theme park. All he asks is that you bring “good vibes and packed lunch and speakers”. Come on now, don’t act you’re holding out for a better offer – it simply does not exist.
It started in quite a low-key way
Wanna go Thorpe park for my birthday what are you saying
— #MERKY (@stormzy) June 15, 2016
Which piqued the interest of his fans
serious tings
— #MERKY (@stormzy) June 15, 2016
And things escalated from there
Ok so if we all go Thorpe park am I legally responsible for everyone like consent wise cah I ain't really with all that
— #MERKY (@stormzy) June 15, 2016
Which seems to have given Stormzy pre-party jitters
Cah I can barely take care of myself I ain't being responsible for shit lol
— #MERKY (@stormzy) June 15, 2016
Though he soon got excited again
Nah this could actually be so live I'm gassed
— #MERKY (@stormzy) June 15, 2016
Even if he did add a caveat
All I ask is if you come don't be a lil fucking jar no one likes a lil jar
— #MERKY (@stormzy) June 15, 2016
Sorry, lil jars, you’re not invited.
But at least Thorpe Park are down with the idea
Sounds amazing, DM us your details!
— THORPE PARK Resort (@THORPEPARK) June 15, 2016
And it’s easy to see why Stormzy’s so into it
The ones thinking whys he so gassed are the ones who ain't never been Thorpe park on a bangin sunny day with the mandem and a few girls dpmo
— #MERKY (@stormzy) June 15, 2016
July 23: the height of summer. Your knees are wobbly from your third ride of the day on Stealth, having been rocketed 205ft in less than two seconds at 80mph. But you’re okay; Stormzy has put an arm around you and you’re more deeply happy than ever. What a legend he is. The man deserves a knighthood, or at least a hot chocolate and a panini to go.
