The Best Quips From Chris Rock’s Oscars 2016 Hosting Gig

Comedian Chris Rock is no stranger to hosting the Oscars. He last hosted the ceremony in 2005 and that performance was met with mixed reactions. In the midst of #OscarsSoWhite, he was invited back to host for a second time and you can bet his opening monologue and sketches throughout the night were focused on that controversy. We’ve collected some of the best quips from his sometimes scathing, sometimes hilarious Oscars 2016, plus watch his opening monologue in full below.

On the montage that opened the ceremony: “Man I counted at least 15 black people on that montage.”

On the lack of diversity: “Welcome to the 88th Academy Awards, otherwise known as the white People’s Choice Awards. If they nominated hosts, I wouldn’t get this job. You’d be watching Neil Patrick Harris right now.”


On Kevin Hart: “The last thing I need is to lose another job to Kevin Hart. He makes a movie every month. Porno actors don’t make movies that fast.”

On why no one protested about diversity in the past: “There were no black nominees in the ’60s. We had real things to protest. We were too busy being raped and lynched to care who won Best Cinematographer. When your grandma’s hanging from a tree, it’s hard to care about Best Foreign Short.”

On other black actors boycotting the ceremony: “Jada [Pinkett-Smith] boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna’s panties. I wasn’t invited.”

On #BlackLivesMatter: “This year the In Memoriam package is just going to be black people who were shot by cops on their way to the movies. Yes I said it, alright.”

On RockyRocky takes place in a world where white athletes are as good as black atheletes. Rocky is a science fiction movie! Things happen in Star Wars that are more believable than that.”


On black actors who deserve recognition from the Academy: “Jamie Foxx was so good in Ray, they went to the hospital and unplugged the real Ray Charles. They were like ‘we don’t need two of these’.”

On red carpet interviewers no longer being allowed to ask women what they’re wearing: “If George Clooney turned up in a lime green tux with a swan coming out of his ass, someone would ask ‘what are you wearing George?'”

Returning from a commercial break: “Ah we’re black.”

On creating black categories: “If you want black nominees every year you need to have black categories … like Best Black Friend. And the winner for the 18th year in a row in Wanda Sykes. Is Hollywood racist? You’re damn right Hollywood is racist. Hollywood is sorority racist. It’s like, ‘we like you Rhonda, but you’re not a Kappa!'”

Introducing the first presenters of the night: “You want diversity, we got diversity, please welcome Emily Blunt and somebody whiter – Charlize Theron.”


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