The Sexual Wisdom Of Andrew WK – Part Three

‘Party Hard’ star Andrew WK has turned sexpert for a new book. Here, in the third instalment of his NME sex column, he talks booze, impotence and puking

Everyone has an off day
I’ve actually never been a big drinker so I’ve not had this problem from alcohol, but there were times when I was just so nervous much earlier on, when I was first being with girls, that sometimes I’d just be so nervous that I couldn’t get fully aroused.

It was so strange that here was the most stimulating, exciting experience that I had fantasised about through my whole life, here it was actually happening, and I was so revved up in that fact of it happening that it was almost like I wasn’t there again. It was like a fantasy all over again. It was so intense and powerful that I experienced moments of impotence.

There was so much blood being flushed to my face, my heart was beating so fast that I felt like I couldn’t get the blood anywhere else where it was more valued.

Alcohol makes you take unnecessary risks
I’ve had a few times of being very drunk with sex where I did things I wouldn’t have normally done, like not wear a condom. That was disturbing! That was much more disturbing than if I had not been able to perform. I only had that happen the one time. Waking up the next day, I couldn’t believe I did it.

It felt like it was out of a movie, or out of a TV show or something; the crazy guy who takes this big risk while he’s drunk and doesn’t realise it and waked up the next day and had either got a girl pregnant or got some disease or whatever. That was definitely from having drunk a lot of alcohol.

Being totally wasted is not sexy…
If a girl you’re with is puking, that’s the most disgusting thing. And just that grogginess that comes over somebody where their body isn’t working the right way. If they stink of liquor too; if there’s so much liquor coming out of their system through their pores, chances are it’s gonna start coming out of their other openings.

…But a few drinks can set the right mood
I always like Long Island Iced Tea because it’s really fun to order. Every place kind of makes it different. You’ll always be completely drunk after one; I mean, for me at least. Girls tend to like sweeter drinks from what I’m told.

The right clothes can make all the difference
Perhaps the most sexy thing to me is a girl wearing a really tight, plain white T-shirt. Just a plain T-shirt, regular cotton or maybe a thinner cotton, with no bra, There’s something about that, the way the fabric… that very soft, stretchy, jersey T-shirt fabric, even if it’s one of those tank-tops or, as they call them, wifebeaters (although I never really liked that name for it).

There’s something about the way that fabric stretches and presses that things feel really good; the flesh feels really good through that fabric. And taking off that fabric, the way the bottom of the T-shirt as it’s being lifted up over the body, the way it has to fight over the curves, the way it pulls against the plumper areas and then releases with hopefully a springy bounce.

Taking off T-shirts is a real strong one; otherwise it’s buttons, dresses and zippers. I like it when a woman removes her clothing. That’s probably the most exciting.

Andrew WK’s Sex Column – Part One

Andrew WK’s Sex Column – Part Two