This article originally appeared on Platform, an online arts and lifestyle magazine.
It’s the credit crunch. It’s OK to be a scumbag, fashionable to shred your tights, massacre your hair and roll around on the floor at hardcore shows even if you couldn’t give a shit about music.
Down with shiny women, washing and cocaine, up with bad tattoos and stealing tranquilizers from pony club. Economy drug experimentation is reaching a new socially acceptable high.
Enter the ‘drone. Mephedrone, the new semi-legal quasi coke/MDMA drug that “all the gay folks were onto months ago”, rearing its head at a bar near you soon. So – before some dickhead offers you this shit at a party, or even worse you buy some coke that’s suspiciously fluffy and sore on the nose, check out the highs and lows of a night out on the ‘drone…
– It’s cheaper then cocaine, MDMA, booze, poppers, ketamin etc etc. In fact the only thing that’s possibly cheaper then it is speed. And Super. Both of which are shit. (Super’s great actually).
– You don’t really want to eat for a good while after taking it – good for fashion week/wearing spandex.
– You can easily buy it online whilst at work. No need for cryptic texting, weird phone calls and meetings with strange men called Dave.
– It does make you happy, awake, warm and fuzzy, a bit like a cokey, mellow MDMA hug. You can stay out with douche bags, being a douche bag all night long.
– Drooooooonnnnnnnnne – is a great word to say when your fucked/hung over.
– It could destroy the coke economy and make coke cheaper.
– Snorting it feels similar to jumping into a swimming pool whilst inhaling through your nostrils. It hurts/causes possible mild brain bleed.
– It’s legal, which instantly makes it less fun. Also you know that the online guy you bought it off is probably sitting at home in front of his computer wearing a novelty festival hat and yellow sunglasses listening to The Prodigy on Spotify.
– People talk about it a lot on virtual forums.
– Drone makes you chronically compelled to give it out to everyone around you whilst declaring it’s “the best drug in the world”. This may make you look like an asshole/get you thrown out of clubs/temporarily arrested.
– There have been reports of nasty side effects such as extreme insomnia, asphyxiation, bits-of-mouth-falling-off syndrome, paranoia, anxiety-ridden comedowns. Dave thinks it’s a bad idea.
– It could destroy the coke economy and make the credit crunch worse.