There Is A Monkey That Looks Like Voldemort

For the avoidance of doubt, there is a monkey that looks like Voldemort. The primate was delivered via C-section at Paignton Zoo in Devon and her mother, Ivy, would no doubt be delighted to learn that her offspring has captured the internet’s imagination.

Look! Just like Voldemort.

The monkey that looks like Voldemort is something of a rarity, as only three C-sections have been conducted in 16 years at Paignton Zoo. Ghislaine Sayers, head of veterinary services at Paignton Zoo, has said: “Jo, our surgeon on this occasion, has performed them on dogs, cats, cows and sheep before – but never a primate.”

Young wizards are probably safe, however, as the monkey in question weighs only 567g (actually quite healthy) and is being fed on powdered milk. It seems unlikely that this particular primate will spend seven volumes of a popular fantasy series trying really hard to kill one teenage boy, and when it’s named you can probably safely voice said name aloud. Probably.

What next? A vole that looks like David Platt from Coronation Street? A ham hock that looks like Piers Morgan? A hyena with a laugh that is eerily similar to Ricky Gervais’s? Rest assured, readers, we’ll keep our eyes peeled.