As beloved as Sir David Attenborough is, he may, at nearly 90 years old, be soon thinking about hanging up his hat as the world’s foremost television nature expert.
His legacy will live on, of course, but like how Manchester United consulted Sir Alex Ferguson over their next managerial appointment after his retirement in 2012, it might be wise if Attenborough was consulted on appointing his natural narrating successor.
Who would the candidates be? Ben Fogle? Chris Packham? Bill Oddie? No, forget those inoffensive characters, with their qualifications and years of presenting knowledge. No, the obvious choice is Snoop Dogg. Yes, Snoop.
And don’t just take our word for it: he’s a more-than-popular choice for the job, as this Change.org petition demonstrates. Started by one Kelly Ooton – who handily explains that “Snoop Dogg has narrated some Planet Earth in the past but yo we need him to narrate full episodes” – the petition is erroneously addressed to the US network Animal Planet, but we’re sure that Planet Earth‘s actual producers, the BBC, will hear the demand of the public soon enough. Snoop certainly approves of the movement, anyway.
This petition hasn’t come from nowhere, mind – it dates back to February 2015, when late night chat show host Jimmy Kimmel asked Snoop to narrate some clips of wildlife for a regular segment called Plizzanet Earth. And, yes, the result were glorious – here’s just a select few.
The cold-blooded seal
“Hey what up though, it’s yo nature guy Snoop!” Tremendous intro aside, this clip sees Snoop smirk his way through some footage of a randy seal going to town on a helpless penguin. “Cuz, look at this shit, cuz” is what we’d love to hear Attenborough say just once before he retires.
Otters vs Crocodiles
Here we see a gang of otters facing down a crocodile and somehow succeeding, much to the rapper’s delight: “I ain’t never seen no gator get punked by some mongooses.” He also mistakes the otters for beavers, but that’s fine. No problem at all.
Nature can be scary sometimes, as this bastard marten proves by attacking a squirrel family. “That’s gon’ be scandalous, is he going in they house to get they babies?” asks Snoop. Damn nature, you scary.
A cornucopia of species
This final clip is a glorious three-minute montage of Snoop’s other endeavours in nature narration, with a particular highlight arriving in his description of a great white shark as “a big motherfucker” as it eats a diving seal.
And so, as you can see, Snoop is clearly the one and only successor to Attenborough’s gilded throne – expect to catch him on your screens elaborating on the weird world of the killer fungi Cordyceps very soon (we sincerely hope, anyway).