Set at a Texan university in the early 1980s, Richard Linklater’s Everybody Wants Some is another film that makes the US college experience look inifitely more fun than the British student life, as a group of students cram more into the first weekend of term than most of us manage in three years. Here are 10 things that happen in US college movies that make us wish we were born across the pond.
Frat houses and sorority houses
What: Essentially a clubhouse for you and your superior pals identified by greek letters few British people know how to pronounce.
What we got instead: Cupboard-sized rooms in university halls with prison-issue beds and four plastic chairs in what might generously be described as a living room.
What: Full-sized beer kegs are drafted in for a gathering. A tap is affixed and – lo! – near-endless ale for all.
What we got instead: People turning up with a six-pack of Stella, and hiding them in the washing machine.
What: Sun-kissed weeks in Miami or San Diego filled with formative experiences, pool parties and casual sex, topped off with an epic, adventure-filled road trip back to campus.
What we got instead: Easter holidays. Long trip back to mum and dad’s, during which too many roasts and Easter eggs are consumed, winding down in frantic, guilt-fuelled composition of that essay you’ve been putting off.
Majors and minors
What: System by which American college students can cherry-pick courses from a wide syllabus, giving a varied and palatable academic diet.
What we got instead: You can’t decide what to do so you sign up for a Geology degree in a panic. Now you learn about rocks. You don’t even like rocks.
What: A Roman orgy in which everyone is dressed like a low-rent Julius Cesar and anything can happen.
What we got instead: You attempt to throw a toga party, but your friends are put off by the idea and only five show up. You vomit down your only bedsheet and must sleep on the stained uni halls mattress that night.
What: Formerly perplexing game now making in-roads in British bars, in which ping pong balls are thrown into cups of beer and chugged down.
What we got instead: Rarely used dartboard with two broken darts.
Dancing at parties
What: It’s a party, everyone is dancing. Occasionally, a circle will form around one very good dancer, who may in turn be a teenage werewolf.
What we got instead: It’s a party. There’s a bedroom room full of surly stoners. Everyone else is crammed in the kitchen talking.
What: Practice of subjecting younger would-be members of your club/society/frat to humiliating trials.
What we got instead: You sign up to the cheese and wine society at the Freshers’ Fair. They don’t even pour wine over you.
Structural damage at parties
What: A party rages so hard the house cannot take it any more and starts to literally fall apart, to the delight of all present.
What we got instead: Morning-after tidy-up with a bin bag and a spritz of Febreeze. Fag burn in the carpet that stays forever.
Sleeping in lectures
What: Seemingly perfectly acceptable practice of putting one’s head down in a Advanced Algebra.
What we got instead: You awake to the sound of your name being repeated by the lecturer, with a pool of drool in the crook of your elbow.
What: Jam jar specs, acne and a total lack of social skills are no barrier to the heroic nerd’s life-changing experience at college.
What we got instead: The individual is not invited to any parties following fresher’s week. They emerge with a first three years later, but few can name them in their graduation photograph.
Everybody Wants Some is in cinemas on May 13