Testing musicians’ memories after a lifetime of abuse
When it first came out, what warning was stickered on to the front cover of the second Mötley Crüe album ‘Shout At The Devil’?
“Fuck, dude. I have no idea!”
Wrong. It was “Masked backwards messages”
“That’s right! But there weren’t any, that’s the craziest thing. I remember it being stickered. It was probably some fucking gay marketing plan. I guess if you spin anything backwards something’s going to make some sort of sense.”
In a 2004 episode of Tommy Lee Goes To College, you studied horticulture, literature and chemistry. What’s the chemical symbol for lead, the most stable heavy metal?
“I’m fucking clueless. I scraped by with a fucking D-minus. When I signed up for chemistry I thought we were going to be in the lab fucking around with chemicals and making things explode. But it was nothing but a fucking big math problem!”
Wrong. It’s Pb
Name the three locations and outfits visited and worn by your then-wife Pamela Anderson in 1995’s infamous sex tape, Pam & Tommy Lee: Stolen Honeymoon…
“Lake Mead [south of Vegas]. Our house in Los Angeles. And in my Chevy Suburban truck. How am I doing?”
“One outfit was nothing. The second outfit was nothing. And the third outfit was a tan-coloured sweater!”
Which band played when you and the Crüe’s Vince Neil were on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross on June 3, 2005?
“Oh, boy, fuck, I give up.”
Wrong. Coldplay, who performed ‘Talk’
“Oh that’s right. I remember meeting Chris Martin. I like those guys a lot.”
Which Lady Gaga song pays homage to a Mötley Crüe song?
“I know she’s a big fan, she wears a Mötley Crüe shirt all the time, and claims she has sex in it. But I don’t know which song.”
Wrong. ‘Boys Boys Boys’ in homage to the Crüe’s ‘Girls Girls Girls’
“Oh, fuck. That’s right. Cool!”
What Ludacris song did you play drums for at the BET Awards in 2010?
“‘My Chick Bad’.”
Where are you DJing on November 17 with your DJ troupe Electric Mayhem?
“Give me one second. Um. Oh fuck. I give up.”
Wrong. Hard Rock, Biloxi, Mississippi
According to the internet, how big is your erect penis?
“I’ve never seen any sort of internet reference. What does the internet say?”
Nine and a half inches
“Well, to answer your question truthfully, I really don’t know. I’ve never measured it.”
Get your girlfriend to measure it now…
“(Into background) Baby, grab a tape measure, quick! I guess nine and a half inches is close if I just kind of eyeball it.”
Who was playing when you and Kid Rock had a bust-up and got kicked out of the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards?
“Um, it was… hold on. Great R&B soul singer. Female (Yells into background) Hey, baby, who’s that girl who plays the piano? Fucking badass singer. Black girl? (Muffled voice in background says Alicia Keys) Alicia Keys!”
Hang on. You’re not allowed to ask the audience. Who was that?
Wrong. No points for cheating!
“I just asked the name, not the scenario.”
Name three British people you follow on Twitter?
“Oh boy. Three Brits. Fucking hell. Wow… erm, Adam Freeland?”
“He’s a DJ.”
Far more famous than that…
“Boy, Jesus. Fuck.”
Here’s a clue: he’s from Birmingham…
“Holy fuck. Fucking Ozzy?”
Well done. Any more?
And Russell Brand…
“There’s a guy I would really fucking like to meet. I think he’s hilarious!”
Total Score 2/10
“Not bad. People are like, ‘I can’t believe you remember that!’ Other days I can’t remember what happened yesterday. The memory banks are pretty intermittent”
This article originally appeared in the September 18 issue of NME