Transfer Deadline Day – musicians your football club should sign up

Thought Annie Clark’s talents ended with strangling exhilarating sounds out of a guitar neck as noise-pop sophisticate St. Vincent? Think again. This excellent video shows the songwriter showing off some pretty impressive football skills, sporting tricksy turns and flicks in a empty warehouse space for US website Rookie. I guess with the amount of pedals she uses to conduct her genre-mangling music, her nifty footwork shouldn’t come as a surprise.

Anyways with August coming to a close, and the European football transfer deadline looming, there’s plenty of big clubs on the lookout for new talent, should Clark or any of her musical peers fancy a career swap. Here’s six musicians the Jose Mourinhos of this world may (or may not) want to take a punt on…


Johnny Marr
The Smiths guitarist had trials at Man City before concentrating on a career in music. He remains a massive Sky Blues fan, alongside the Gallagher brothers. “I didn’t take football seriously enough to push it to the next level. I’d go for a trial and take to the pitch wearing eyeliner… I was winging it, basically – having a laugh. My football career was always destined to be short-lived,” he told the Daily Mail.

Will Smith

The Fresh Prince’s attempt at a penalty during a promo trip to the UK in 2013, to paraphrase ‘Wild Wild West’, wicky-waa, wicky-waa-, wicky-waa-waa woeful, Will.

Katy B
‘I was alright. I played for Peckham Town United. One time I tackled this girl and accidentally kicked her knee. She went for me and then this girl on my team boxed her. We got disqualified and my coach told us we were giving Peckham a bad name. It was too much stress.’ Lesson learnt: don’t mess with Katy B.

Louis Tomlinson
One Direction star Tomlinson plays for Doncaster in what is definitely not a publicity stunt for the club. Aston Villa star Gabby Agbonlahor earned death threats from 1D zealots after injuring the singer in charity game last summer.

Diana Ross
All Diana Ross had to do during her opening ceremony cameo at the 1994 World Cup was kick a ball into an open goal from the penalty spot. Her attempt was so bad, the goal combusted in disgust. Incredible scenes.


Serge, Kasabian
Kasabian’s Serge is famed for his footballing ability, appearing in charity competitions regularly. Take a bow, Serge:

Ryan Jarman, The Cribs

The skinny-jeaned indie kid ripped a volley straight into the top corner on Soccer AM recently. Does he take the title of ‘Best Boot In Rock ‘n’ Roll’ from Serge?

Cribs Top Bin!

Check out this TOP BIN from The Cribs on the weekend! ??

Posted by Soccer AM on Tuesday, August 15, 2017