We Want To Stay At The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Hotel And So Will You

How do you feel about chilli that may or may not contain human remains? Knackered old gas stations that may or may not be owned by cannibalistic maniacs? Novelty theme restaurants in rural Texas part-owned by faintly obscure horror movie character actors?

Bingo! We’ve found the perfect – nay, essential – venue for your summer holiday. Fuck you, TripAdvisor.

Yes, this is the news that the gas station from Tobe Hooper’s 1974 horror masterpiece The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, having laid dormant for years, will soon reopen for punters looking for a violent, death-themed getaway.

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In the film, it’s a filling point and a barbecue restaurant run by the blood-lusty Drayton Sawyer, head honcho of a murderous clan of cannibals that includes the legendary Leatherface, the massive dude with the chainsaw and the mask made of human flesh. Sawyer has a thing for killing customers and serving them up to his next victims, who think they’re eating an innocent chilli.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DarSpoP7Xc

In real life, The Last Chance gas station off Highway 304 in Bastrop, Texas was owned by a couple who refused to sell up when first approached by Ohio businessman Roy Rose a few years ago. Well, Roy – who made his pile through a tattoo shops and those places that sell bongs and stuff – has come up trumps, because the couple has finally chosen to cash in on their property’s troubling, unpleasant legacy.

Roy bought the property last year and has promised that it will reopen as We Slaughter Barbecue, a novelty barbecue joint and hotel. He told local new channel KXAN that he’s making four cabins for overnight stays. Only four, Roy? Well the last thing he wants is for you to find safety in numbers. In addition to this, there’ll be a big screen to show the film.

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And there’s more.

We promised you a horror character actor. Well: Rose has roped one in as a partner. The late, great Gunnar Hansen, who played the masked killer in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre (there’ve been a sequels and remakes, and a prequel called Leatherface is on the way) was out on account of being dead. Which is presumably why Rose chose Ari Lehrman, who played Jason Vorhees in the 1980 slasher Friday the 13th.

Lehman’s in a punk metal band called First Jason, so there’ll also be a music venue. Rose claims he’s longed to own the place since age 10. His dreams came true, and so can ours when We Slaughter Barbeque opens in June.

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